Random Insanity Alliance Forum, Mark V
Cactuar Zone => Random lnsanity => Topic started by: Shadow on February 27, 2013, 09:30:48 pm
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So here I am driving down highway minding my own business and going under an overpass. When all of a sudden a plow or truck decides to launch an attack of snow on my car. As it was a surprise attack I was momentarily blinded by the sudden onslaught of deadly snow. As I recovered from my near heart attack and got it wiped out of my view, I thought the worst was over. Only after did I notice that intermixed in the assault of snow was the true weapon of the assassin. A deadly ball of ice had struck down on the passenger side of my windshield, causing a nice crack from the bottom to around 3/4 up and several smaller ones in the corner.
All this after getting hit by two blizzards in the past week that each dumped nearly a foot of snow on me. It was a deadly attack but Old Man Winter's attempt to assassinate me has failed. Maybe next time, Old Man Winter, maybe next time.
/me declares war on winter
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/me supports this DoW
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Winter is
coming has finally fucking arrived.
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I shall be burning fossil fuels to support your glorious crusade
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White on black violence. When will this country ever learn?
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That was my driver, my plow, and my snow. So let me give you another perspective:
My driver was minding his own business, moving my snow around like I asked him, and some shitty ass excuse for a car jumps into the plow stream, and makes off with some of my snow. Broad fucking daylight, zips in, zips out, and makes off with MY snow. MY SNOW. Cahunas, I admit.
I was about to fire my driver until I read your admission. What did you think, this would be a victimless crime? Well as it turns out there is such a thing as divine justice - we recovered the snow half a klick away, and your windshield is cracked.
I wish for you to take this turn of events as a warning, because your next such "accident" will be the last one.
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/me declares war on winter
your main opponent will be the snow plow/snow blower lobby. Advise you invest in some bodyguards, or perhaps consider temporarily relocating to guatemala... their power wanes the closer you get to the equator