D&D is fun, in concept. It only works on paper.

[Kenneth Kenstar]

Every time I play D&D it gets really fucking lame. And I know it's the people I play with.

I've always been the new guy. I want to go on adventures. But I feel like I'm playing a really lame battle system.

I want to go to a bar and get drunk and start a fight and run away with my shoes that can walk on the ceiling.

I want to use my ability to talk shit to scare dragons away

Instead I pretty much get bored very fast and try to abuse the battle system. I played a monk and would just grapple and throw people off stuff. I was on an airship and everyone took turns hitting people with stuff. I killed everyone by running over to people and throwing them off the ship.

Then I gained the ability to fly. So I would just grapple people, fly, and then drop them like the angels in Dogma.

The DM was clearly getting annoyed by this so he'd throw heavier enemies at us. So I'd drop stuff on the enemies. Things would play out like Tom and Jerry.

All the while this was happening, I'd take like 30 seconds to take my turn. That's thinking included. I am literally one of those assholes with the instinct to wait in line at McDonald's and only decide what I want when I'm finally at the counter. I can't be bothered to think because there is probably some talking to do.

So as soon as it's my turn, I'll think. And I'll do something I've described above. Sometimes I'd spend a turn posing because I had been watching Jojo's Bizarre Adventure for awhile. But, other than that, pretty much that.

But, these fucking guys man. They open all these DnD books and take like 20 minutes to take their turn trying to come up with some bullshit combination to win the battle instantly instead of just playing shit out with their character.

Like, that's what was fun for me was being the character. If I have to look at the fucking script/DND book, then I'm not playing my character.



Seriously. If I ever do DnD again, it's only under the condition that books are restricted somehow. This shit is bullshit.

[Fake from State Jarm]

I played DnD once, got tired 15 mins in, made the DM take me home

I think I kind of won since DM is the real boss

[Fake from State Jarm]

kenny at least your turns sound like they'd be fun to watch

[Fake from State Jarm]

the nice thing about medieval/fantasy RPG is there's some nobility and some incentive to not RP a dbag. unlike modern settings like you have in CN where everyone wants to be some narcissistic fascist leader.

[Fake from State Jarm]

think how lopsided the representation would be if CN had an alignment chart. it would all be chaotic evil vs lawful evil. (nevermind that evil is kind of just a form of chaos.)

[Kenneth Kenstar]

One of my DND characters was secretly a cannibal and I wanted this to be a secret to the other players too. Also if enough people found out I'd lose a power or something. So I'd whisper stuff to the DM while making it apparent to everyone that I'm dragging this dead body away and its none of your fucking business what I'm doing this for

I wanted to stop by my house and while there it was revealed that

1) my door that leads to direct access to the sewers was left open

2) there was a sewer zombie in my house

3) it had gotten into my stash of dead bodies

"look guys it's really none of your business why I have this door, these bodies, and just please I need your help here but no you can't know what this is about because it's none of your business"

Also his name was Chevy Malibu. The DM didn't like the name but liked everything else. Too bad it was boring as hell.

[Mogar]

I enjoy D&D style games, because I am a CHA boosting asshole who never fights.

[Brian]

Honestly, it sounds like you guys have just had a shitty group of min maxer's. Though the fact that your DM let you do the fly and drop thing means he couldn't have been to bad. Ive never played DnD in real life, but ive done some with mogar and croix. We ran a round of warhamer (dnd steampunk) and ive DM'd a few call of cthulhu games. Croix broke into a newspaper editor's office after hours and shit on his desk, and me and mogar were lugging a nice chest around for half of another game just so we could put 'our sweet booty' in later on.

[Mogar]

I'm pretty sure in Cthulu my character's main goal is to just burn down everything and pretend it never happened, besides the first one where I decided to become a Cthulu mage.

[Fake from State Jarm]

I once was volunteering at a high school (I was 19) and got into some kind of steampunk DnD game with a few teachers and their students.

There was this big ongoing barfight scene. Basically whenever I would get involved with the game, the teacher would materialize me with some kind of technology, and I would throw knives at the one black kid so that he had to use up all his action points dodging them and could do nothing else. idk why I picked him, that poor kid was black and a DnD player and he had to deal with my shit.

[Brian]

this one time mogar was part of the NKVD (pre kgb secret police) and he had a truck of like 5 women and children and i think 1 guy, he shot them all and then blew up the town.

you really do need a DM that is willing to let the players do whatever they want or thats all the player remembers.

this is my favorite ever dnd game story, some day i would like to say i caused just a single henderson plot derailment.
http://1d4chan.org/wiki/Old_Man_Henderson
That link is SFW btw, at least everything but the adds' who knows what the adds will be...

[Fake from State Jarm]

having a DM really increases the creative potential of a tabletop game

[Kenneth Kenstar]

this one time mogar was part of the NKVD (pre kgb secret police) and he had a truck of like 5 women and children and i think 1 guy, he shot them all and then blew up the town.

you really do need a DM that is willing to let the players do whatever they want or thats all the player remembers.

this is my favorite ever dnd game story, some day i would like to say i caused just a single henderson plot derailment.
http://1d4chan.org/wiki/Old_Man_Henderson
That link is SFW btw, at least everything but the adds' who knows what the adds will be...

honestly, while you may be right about the min maxers, I think it was the DM mainly. He seemed too into creating lore and writing, what I'm sure, was properly well written DnD scenarios.

But when I suddenly earned a wish and I asked the DM if I could wish for anything he said yes. He was wrong. I couldn't ask for the USS Enterprise and for the members of my party to be my crew.



Eh. If I was DM, I'd allow that. And let them have some fun with it for a little bit and do some Star Trek shit. Then I'd have it crashland into whatever it is I needed to lead the game into.

Also, min maxers? First of all, I'd probably probably restrict the usage of books and probably push for most of our dialog being in-character.

Second of all, I would do whatever I could to make it interesting. I will bend so many rules and create new ones just to make things tense. I want you to feel like a badass or laugh your ass off.

God, I would try to some crazy shit, though. I'd have a lot of fun as a DM.

[Fake from State Jarm]

when are you going to DM then? or is that what you've been doing with us all along... pretending to be one of us is the perfect RP for a DM... did I just ruin your little 10 year social experiment.. sry man

[Brian]

but that makes us all DMPC's though... but kenny does seem to be handling it all pretty well. nobody seems to wildly OP or anything.

[Brian]

also id be down to play with you fuckers if you wanted.

[Kenneth Kenstar]

we could definitely do something

call of cthulhu sounds really interesting

if someone gives me a good resource to read on how to DM ill even give that a shot

[Brian]

Call of cthulhu is fun, its also pretty simple to get into. players dont have to know much, they just sort of state their goal and the DM tells them to roll and you go from there. The DM has to know all kinds of crap, i think i read like 200 pages or so of the big main rulebook so i wouldn't run into a situation I wasnt ready to handle.
The people who did the rulebook made a really nice set of videos that are enough to get you started.

(their website sucks and doesnt just give you a link to the others at the bottom of the page, so here are all 5 of them)
http://blasphemoustomes.com/2015/05/04/video-guide-to-call-of-cthulhu-quick-start-rules-part-1-character-creation/
http://blasphemoustomes.com/2015/05/14/video-guide-to-call-of-cthulhu-quick-start-rules-part-2-game-system/
http://blasphemoustomes.com/2015/05/21/video-guide-to-call-of-cthulhu-quick-start-rules-part-3-sanity-rules/
http://blasphemoustomes.com/2015/06/01/video-guide-to-call-of-cthulhu-quick-start-rules-part-4-combat/
http://blasphemoustomes.com/2015/06/11/video-guide-to-call-of-cthulhu-quick-start-rules-part-5-wounds-and-healing/

the free quickstart PDF as well. http://www.mediafire.com/view/kapee7epbv6earb/CoC_7th_Ed_Quick_Start_Rules.pdf

[Fake from State Jarm]

[Brian]