Would you rather have 20 dollars right now or instantly you are #1 tampon expert

[Kenneth Kenstar]

I wonder if fresh used tampons are like candy to vampires.

[Buck Turgidson]

I would have to go with Gangs on this one.  I don't think you would call an expert unless something when horribly wrong with the tampon.  Here is a short list of things I would not like to be called in for my expertise:

- Excessive urinal tract infection rates
- Disintegration of the tampon upon insertion
- Removal of a stuck tampon
- "forgot to take it out for 2 weeks" scenario
- Removing a tampon from ass
- Over-inserted
- "my kid ate a tampon" scenario
- Inserted too many tampons
- How to recycle used tampons
- Designing the first vibrating tampon (bluetooth activated)
- "my dog ate a tampon" scenario
- "my kids ate a box of tampons" scenario
- How to manufacture a "green" tampon
- Conducting the 'white bikini test' prior to shooting an ad
- Dealing with user feedback asking for a bigger, meatier, penis-shaped tampon
- Designing a 'quiff-less' tampon
- Called in to testify that the tampon was not safe for intercourse without prior removal
- Any new product testing

So yeah, I would take the 20 bucks, have a few beers, scratch my balls and thank God for them.

[Kenneth Kenstar]

Did you literally type all that shit

[Buck Turgidson]

no man - cut and paste job from your mom's website.

[Dontasemebro]

Kenny is under rated

[Brian]

- Designing the first vibrating tampon (bluetooth activated)


that is brilliant. mind if i patent that?

[Buck Turgidson]

Go ahead.  Everything is better with Bluetooth.

Here are a few more things I could skip:

- Designing a mood tampon (you know, like a mood ring).  Only problem is that it would probably always be red.
- Marketing a tampon empregnated with an opiate.  You know, so she will just chill out.
- Developing a geo-fencing RFID embedded tampon to track where tampons wind up after they are used.
- Creating dual use tampons/earplugs
- Putting together a chess set made of different tampons for marketing convention purposes.  Then trying to find the lost piece.

Am I the only one whose dread is this specific?  The more I think of it, I think I would take 18$...

[Buck Turgidson]

Ok here are a few more:

- Having to liaise with a string expert to address the 'wick' effect
- Collecting and analysing data on tampon allergies
- Designing a tampon for men to use to deal with anal leakage after eating 3 tubes of Pringles back to back
- Adressing user feedback on the need for a fire-retardant tampon
- Swords to plowshares: working with the cigarette manufacturers on how to modify their filter euipment to produce tampons  in order to improve return on assets

I am down to $17