""Be it resolved that Grilledslug would retrieve the likes of Snowbound Milk, were he to be ensnared in a lobster pot in San Diego, and Grilledslug were armed only with a shovel.""
Without hesitation, I would retieve Snowbound Milk, but to convince you all, you must understand why I value him enough to take the trouble to free him from that infernal lobster pot.
First it is a matter of charity. The poor boy is from British Columbia, and therefore deserves a measure of pity. But to make matters worse, he appears to be autistic: his only real contribution in RIA posts appears to be making the majority of posts in the Count to 10,000, and an awful lot of old posters of 1930's fairs and olympic events. To support this contention, I draw you to the fact that he has posted his real name on the boards (Jeffrey Thompson) - if he is not autistic, then he is most certainly some kind of retard. Which particular kind of retard? The kind who goes to San Diego, ensnares himself in a lobster pot, and has only me and my shovel to beckon for his liberty. So you see, it is a matter of charity, and I would humbly take the task in hand.
Second, he has no business getting himself ensnared in a lobster pot off San Diego. That pot was built for a purpose, and the local economy, nay, all of society, depends on that pot performing its function as designed. Cooks, waiters, restaurant owners, and patrons of the local cuisine depend on that hardware, sans-ensnared-Snowbound Milk. Therefore, it is my duty - everyone's duty - to keep the tard out of the pot, lest the economy suffer.
Finally, I would use any and all tools at my disposal, but to face this dilema armed only with a shovel is quite fortuitous for 2 reasons: 1) Removing him from the pot with a shovel would certainly be painful, which in my experience is the only way to get an idiot to remember something, and 2) if he did not survive the procedure, I could end my charitable work with a free burial on the spot.
In conclusion, I would most definitely retrieve the likes of Snowbound Milk, were he to be ensnared in a lobster pot in San Diego, and I were armed only with a shovel. It is important to do what we can for those less fortunate than us, to ensure at the same time that they do not unduly disturb the greater society, and to do so with whatever tools we have in hand. Especially retards.
Topic: C-Zom vs. Grilledslug (Read 1915 times)
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