Random Insanity Alliance Forum, Mark V
Cactuar Zone => Random lnsanity => Topic started by: Ryun on March 05, 2010, 03:21:18 pm
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The guy running the bakery - fucking HUGE. Maybe 6' 5", 6' 6", around that. Not only that he was built like some kind of ungodly man-tank. You know that guy from American Choppers, that faggish man with the handlebar mustache he keeps for ironic purposes that yells at fucking everyone? Look at his arms, now imagine that on this guy except fucking everywhere, okay?
I kept trying to ask him what the cost for a loaf of whole-wheat was (because for some reason they had no white bread - racists) but he just kept staring at me. I couldn't really tell if he was from around Brussels, he had no accent because he didn't SPEAK. and I'm pretty sure he wasn't asian. So, I'm a bit peeved about the lack of white bread so in my most annoying Super Mario-esque accent (sure to provoke some kind of response) and ask him "eh, mama mia, do you speak-a my language?"
And then he just looks at me, still. I couldn't tell if he was stifiling a laugh or about to cry or terribly pissed off but he just stares at me. Then he goes in the back of the store.
Can you fucking believe it? I can't even get a fucking loaf of bread in Brussels, of all places! I wait like 20 minutes and he comes back out. He looks at me and he's all red-faced. He was probably doing something I don't even want to know about back there, but then he just smiles and hands me some pasty fucking sandwich and points to a sign on the wall that said "Try our vegemite sandwiches!" DO YOU GUYS THINK THAT IF I WANTED A SANDWICH, I WOULD'VE ORDERED ONE INSTEAD OF DRAGGING A FUCKING POORLY ASS WRAPPED BAG HOLDING A LOAF OF FUCKING SLICED WHOLE WHEAT BREAD UP TO THE COUNTER?
Anyway, after this he looks at me, gets this huge ass grin and leans over the counter to tell me some of the weirdest of all phrases I could possibly ever comprehend. English, too, mind you. Just loud enough for me to hear, he whispers something, and when I lean closer trying to hear what he was actually saying and to make sure he wasn't just whistling or something, he just fucking bellows out "I COME FROM A LAND DOWN UNDER, WHERE BEER DOES FLOW AND MEN CHUNDER. CAN'T YOU HEAR - CAN'T YOUR HEAR THE THUNDER? YOU BETTER RUN, YOU BETTER TAKE COVER."
Needless to say I just ran with the bread I needed for my lunch before he could pull out a gun or something and start shooting at me, or worse, keep flapping his lips backed by his foghorn of a voice box. The guy was batshit insane, I can tell you that. I got all the way to the airport and got on the next plane to Bombay - I needed to be as far away from that guy as possible.
Scares me to this day. Shit.
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Yeah, some people are really weird. For example, there's this Greek girl I once met. Apparently her family was filthy rich so she had moved here to study sculpture or theatre or some other BS degree with no actual application in the real world. Anyway, we start talking and right away she says that she wanted to live like us common people, you know, do whatever we do and sleep with people like us. I couldn't believe it, I mean, this spoilt rich kid has the nerve to say that she actually envies us poor folk and wants to be like us?
So I dragged her to this nearby supermarket, I guess I couldn't think of any better place to show her what our life was like. I tried to show her all sad looking bastards shopping there and I keep asking her how she could possibly want to live like one of us. For some reason I got very carried away with that, I think I found it exasperating that every time I asked her that she would just stand there staring and smiling at me. It was then when I completely lost it, and started yelling at her about how much it sucks to be a fucking wage slave just so you can rent a dingy flat and drink yourself stupid every night because there's nothing else to do. She must have been embarrased by me making such a scene, because she wandered off as soon as I finished my diatribe.
It wasn't until that night I realized she just wanted to sleep with me. Fuck me, she was hot!
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I met a man once, then i killed him...
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Gangs you cant kill shit.
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Yeah thats what i thought before i HAD to...im alive because i can.