End of Days

[Buck Turgidson]

As Planet Bob revolves toward its inevitable end, the RIA should ask itself what kind of alliance it really wants to be remembered as. Our proud history of over 7 years started off as an expression of togetherness, mutual respect, teamwork, and tolerance.

Then Leo joined, reducing the alliance to one of togetherness and tolerance.

Then I joined, leaving us only as a tolerant alliance.

In a misguided attempt to hold on to our last virtue, Commissar Apo ejected Damaged from this alliance for projecting his own tendencies (or so I am told).

So, we seem to no longer be tolerant either. Will we be remembered in the annals of CN time as "that alliance that used to have a message board", or the one "that was cactus-themed", or simply as "yeah man"?

Or is our true destiny yet to be realized?

Join the War Boner Party, and take your destiny into your own hands.

This week's joining bonus: Every new Member can write a 140 character clause into our party charter. This may seem like chaos, but let's consider the recruiting pool...

Join here by posting your clause here. If we get the response I suspect, we might change the party name to Carte Blanche.

[Kenneth Kenstar]

Nobody post

[Croix]

what does the war boner party provide for me? the member? also i'm part of the current regime, is that a problem? and i was the one who ejected damaged, it was because he made a joke about my mother and i didn't like it.

[Leo]

Our proud history of over 7 years started off as an expression of togetherness, mutual respect, teamwork, and tolerance.

Then Leo joined, reducing the alliance to one of togetherness and tolerance.

This is an odd retelling of history since the time between the RIA's formation and my joining was very short. Chillax and reread Zeep's History of the RIA, brah.

[Ogaden]

I'm voting for the RIA second amendment

[Fake from State Jarm]

we demand the right to bear cruise missiles. that is, after all, the bare minimum required to protect our children and our lawns from the threat that this thread represents

[Fake from State Jarm]

Our proud history of over 7 years started off as an expression of togetherness, mutual respect, teamwork, and tolerance.

Then Leo joined, reducing the alliance to one of togetherness and tolerance.

This is an odd retelling of history since the time between the RIA's formation and my joining was very short.

time dilations are just one of the many amusing features of the world inside grilledslug's head

[Buck Turgidson]

Well, let's have a look at the first day's crop, in poetic charterese:


Article 1: Whensoever Kenny posts, it shall hereby and forever be known as a "nobody post".

Article 2: All actions by the War Boner party must be justified in terms of how they affect the recognized center of the universe, Croix.

Article 3: If you are a Member, you may not be part of the current regime. We may need to revise this if we ever win an election.

Article 4: A permanent cabinet position shall be formed, named Revisionist Historian. A prime responsibility will be to undermine the image of the Chillax party, and also to promote the interests of the larger Members of the Party.

Article 5: Ogaden shall have exclusive voting rights on the Second Amendment. Refer to Article 3.

Article 6: All Members are required to maintain at least 1 cruise missile at all times. The "Right to Bear Arms" is for pussies - instead the "Duty to Bear Cruise Missiles".

Article 7: A permanent cabinet position shall be formed, named Timekeeper. A prime responsibility of the Timekeeper will be to tell Members what time it is, and to ensure that our universe is free not only from paradoxes and anachronisms, but also any argument that is non-sequitur. Given the recruitment grounds, this will likely be the most challenging cabinet position of the Party.


Well, let's see how many recruits we get tomorrow...

[Fake from State Jarm]

Article 6: All Members are required to maintain at least 1 cruise missile at all times. The "Right to Bear Arms" is for pussies - instead the "Duty to Bear Cruise Missiles".

YOU KNOW NOTHING OF OUR WAYS, BEGONE CHARLATAN

[Leo]

we demand the right to bear cruise missiles. that is, after all, the bare minimum required to protect our children and our lawns from the threat that this thread represents

Bear missile.

[Kenneth Kenstar]

Article 6: All Members are required to maintain at least 1 cruise missile at all times. The "Right to Bear Arms" is for pussies - instead the "Duty to Bear Cruise Missiles".

god am i being trolled

[Fake from State Jarm]

we demand the right to bear cruise missiles. that is, after all, the bare minimum required to protect our children and our lawns from the threat that this thread represents

Bear missile.

what is this ludicrous chicanery, everyone knows bears dont ride cruise missiles, that messes with the ballistics

the bears go inside the missile, and then come out when it lands, like aliens in a 50s scifi

[Buck Turgidson]

Article 6: All Members are required to maintain at least 1 cruise missile at all times. The "Right to Bear Arms" is for pussies - instead the "Duty to Bear Cruise Missiles". Bears shall not ride missiles of any kind. Bear missiles shall keep their payload safely contained in the warhead until the target is reached. Since cruise missiles are atmospheric weapons, there is no need to equip the bears with fishbowl helmets.

[Kenneth Kenstar]

god damnit

the number is 50

FIFTY


FIF

TEE





gosh damnit this website


every single cruise missile topic just enrages me

[Buck Turgidson]

Article 6: All Members are required to maintain at least 50 goddamned cruise missiles at all times. The "Right to Bear Arms" is for pussies - instead the "Duty to Bear Cruise Missiles". Bears shall not ride missiles of any kind. Bear missiles shall keep their payload safely contained in the warhead until the target is reached. Since cruise missiles are atmospheric weapons, bear space helmets are not required.

[Kenneth Kenstar]

Oh wow a bear joke in 2014 I feel like Colbert in 2004 somebody stop the bears GOD THIS UFKCING TOPIC

I'm still not satisfied GS, you have to change more things

[Snowbound Milk]

This topic sucks

[Buck Turgidson]

Oh wow a bear joke in 2014 I feel like Colbert in 2004 somebody stop the bears GOD THIS UFKCING TOPIC

I'm still not satisfied GS, you have to change more things

Article 9: Reoga shall be named party whip for life.

Also, it looks like all 6 of us have voted in the poll, so I guess I should close it.

[Buck Turgidson]

Following Russia's example, I ran a referendum and found that 100% of voters wan the War Boner Party to take control of the alliance. If you were not asked to vote, don't worry, we printed up a ballot and filled it out in your name.

Hand over the reins, bitches.

[cctmsp13]

Gangs for supreme leader, all hail our Indian overlords