Woo woo!
All aboard!
So, one month Zeep bought a house.
Next month Zeep had a mental break down over girls
This month!?
Well, I started to 'date' this girl awhile back. We got together, we clicked and wound up in bed. She said 'guess were dating!' and I went along with it. Fast forward to about noon today.
I work 4 ten hour overnight shifts a week, leaving me with 3 nights off in a row. I am sadly kind of a depressed and lonely man with no friends, I admit that. So on weekends when everyone I know is busy, like this weekend and the last weekend...it bogs me down and depresses me greatly.
So noon rolls around today, I'm nice lonely bored depressed and have a few shots of vodka in me. Me and my girl are texting and we kinda get in a bit of a little hissy fit.
Well it lasts all day, drags on through the hours of bitching and moaning and all that shit, then finally about an hour ago the big guns came out.
Here is the deal. We both decided to lay our cards out on the table, and I went first.
I basically gave her the run down. Told her I know she wants kids and marriage at some point. So I was flat out honest with her. The older I get, the less I want kids. And I have always seen marriage as a waste of time and money. You don't need to be married to live happily with someone. Its just a justification to give the church more power and money. Im not against religion, but I am against willingly giving the church power over my life and my hard earned money.
I then went on to tell her that I didnt really feel like we were dating. We only get to see each other one day every week or two because of our schedules and her living an hour away. I feel more or less like I am single, and I am just lucky enough to have someone to share lifes experiences with. Im no happier since she came in my life, no sadder either. But she was basically just along for the ride cause I wanted someone along, not because of her.
Finally I threw down my last card, part of the mental breakdown last time...its been over a year and I'm still not over the ex that I technically never had. I am in love with a figment of my imagination and still hoping/wanting it to come along. Told her if it ever did come along, shed be dropped aside without a seconds though.
BOOM! That was my hand. I kinda felt like an asshole for saying it, and felt like I was using her, but I needed to clear the chest and get it all out there. Felt like nothing she could say would top it.
"I'm unhappily married to a guy who makes me feel invisible, and I have 4 kids. You make me happy, I want to leave my husband, and a part of me wants to be with you but a part of me cant see myself with you."
Yeah...married...4 kids...here I thought she just had a busy/hectic work schedule and lived an hour away. Well, I was partly right. Instead of assistant manager to a 7 saloon franchise...she has 4 kids. Well, I guess she also has the hair saloon thing too, but still. Wow man, wow....
So, guess i'm off the hook for feeling like an asshole for being with her just to be with her.
Topic: So...RIA...time to unload the monthly zeep drama train! (Read 2351 times)
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