Disney buys LucasFilm; Star Wars Episodes 7 targetted for 2015

[Buck Turgidson]

Obviously you have never been in love.  I have wanted to choke every girl I have been in love with. One even asked me to.  In retrospect, maybe we should have gone with a 'safe sign' instead.

yeah come to think of it, that's the main appeal of the so-called dark side. jedi are all virgins, whereas sith can use force powers in bed.

Also, they get to nail Natalie Portman.  Fuck the light side.

[Fake from State Jarm]

Obviously you have never been in love.  I have wanted to choke every girl I have been in love with. One even asked me to.  In retrospect, maybe we should have gone with a 'safe sign' instead.

yeah come to think of it, that's the main appeal of the so-called dark side. jedi are all virgins, whereas sith can use force powers in bed.

Also, they get to nail Natalie Portman.  Fuck the light side.

that doesn't really hold true; she never would have gone for a sith. of course she couldn't have been with a legit jedi either; she specifically fell for a 'falling' jedi.



you know what. they should have kept her character alive. she could have been the most interesting one of them all. what would she have done with her political career after that? what would have caused her to put luke up for adoption and perhaps keep leia? what sort of CockPony would play out between her and the sith emperor's new apprentice? would they have continued to keep the relationship a secret while they overtook the senate? would they have plotted to usurp the sith emperor and rule the sith themselves? lucas sucks because he doesn't understand that stories are about questions as much as answers.

edit: lol @ 'cockpony' filter

[Buck Turgidson]

For all her purity and extraordinary hotness, she was as much a tragic hero as Aniken.  Her fatal flaw was her weakness for Ani, and the temptress had to die.  Had she restrained herself, the Universe would not have known the likes of Darth Vader.  The Dark side would have remained in the shadows.  In fact, you could argue that she was the ultimate Sith accomplice. 

But in the same vein of unanswered questions, how would things have turned out if Ani and Obi abandoned the cloth and consummated their obviously queer relationship.  "That's good padu... oh sorry Ani, I know I shouldn't call you that anymore.  That's wonderful, Ani.  More to the left..."

How would Yoda's time in exile have turned out if, instead of being stranded in a swamp while the Dark Side took over, he got a job at a hand-pulled noodle bar on the lower east side?

And what if C3PO got a heart?