He's ripping Metropolis a new asshole, if you know what I mean.
blowing up cars with his fucking- fucking laser eyes, you know.
So I brood on top of a roof for a while, in my usual fashion, and then- BRAP- I'm all-
"HEY! SUPERBITCH! LOOK TO THE SKY! IT'S A BIRD- IT'S A PLANE- NO- IT'S THE GODDAMN BATMAN!"
So I jump on him and he's all- Bluuuraaagh-
all fucked up on whatever fuckin' Kryptonite shit Luthor managed to inject him with,
and I slip on the Kryptonite ring the dumb motherfucker was dumb enough to give me, and I deck him.
So, like, everyone and their mom is standing around just gawking, you know, because I just knocked the shit out of the last son of Krypton
which, by the way, is a fucking sob story worthy of disney.
Cry me a fucking river.
He couldnt wipe his super ass when his parents kicked the bucket.
I was eight when my parents were SHOT- IN- THE- FACE- right in front of my ass and I didnt even fucking CRY.
You know why?
Because I'm Batman-
that's why.
Seriously, I'm about as empathetic as Two-Face is pretty,
I grew up in Gotham, kids, and in a town like Gotham when you see an epileptic having a seizure in a bathtub, you throw your laundry in.
You catch my drift?
Are you picking up what I'm putting down?
Get it?
Got it?
Good.
All right, all right, I take it back.
Wonder Woman hates that epilepsy joke too.
everytime I whip it out she's all-
"blah blah blah, I'm sparkle Princess Diana from the Bridge to Terabithia, unicorns and fairies and tiaraaas."
The only reason I allow her to remain an active member of the JLA is on account of her huge tits.
So back to Supes.
He chucks a fucking car at me, I grapple-hook my ass out of the line of fire and I'm all-
DUDE- WHAT THE FUCK? NOT. ON.
So he fuckin', I don't know, trying to fuckin' fly or something and it's pitiful because my ring is starting to seriously fuck with his shit.
So I got, like, the whole fuckin' city of Metropolis like, standing there like a bunch of fucktards,
someones weeping and I think it might be Lane but when I finally take a look it's that redhead kid and he's wearing a dress-
I dont even want to fucking know.
So he keeps fighting, and I'm getting fed the fuck up because I told alfred I'd be home in time for dinner
and he's making fuckin' toad in the hole and here I am relentlessly pounding the shit out of this stubborn son of a bitch.
I knee him in the cranium and he gets a fucking nose bleed, so everyone goes apeshit because it's like their goddamn messiah and i'm like-
chill the fuck out!
I'm doing these people a favor and they're fucking jeering, and i'm like, fuck! It's like Cujo!
This big, dopey, slobbering mutt has finally lost it and I'm trying to get the situation under control
And I have Jimmy fucking Olsen bawling on my left and some slack-jawed little punk on my right staring at me like i've just donkey punched his grandma.
Are these people dense?
what are they?
Retarded or something?
Dont they know who I am?
I am the Goddamn Batman.
Topic: so superman went ballistic. (Read 2253 times)
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