The setting is a cabin. Nearly everything in the cabin is made of some form of wood. A dimly lit fire stirs as the door of the cabin opens. Sunlight fills the room and in steps a bearded man wearing clothes all made in some form of flannel.
Llamavore enters the scene.
LLAMAVORE: Ah! What a great day of chopping wood. I think I'll reward myself with some sweet Gin and delicious RIA posts!
Llamavore walks over to an obviously wooden cabinet and opens it up revealing multiple bottles of Letherbee Gin. He grabs a bottle and fills a glass with a single piece of ice and, to the brim, with Letherbee.
LLAMAVORE: I can not wait to see what's on the boards today!
Llamavore looks through the window and in the distance of the very pine forest, he sees the obviously wooden watermill he built himself. A smirk of pride cracks and he grabs his glass and heads over to a obviously wooden desk holding a now yellowish desktop PC and CRT monitor. He reaches behind both to flip their respective power switches and sits down in his chair.
The glow of the Windows 98 loading screen shows an excited look on the face of Llamavore. The only sounds that can be heard are the clinking of the ice in his glass of Letherbee and the revving of an ancient hard drive.
LLAMAVORE: Oh good! My cursor has appeared. And so have my icons! It's all there. Great. Terrific. I'm going to click on this shortcut labeled "Random Insanity Alliance" now.
As Internet Explorer pops up and reveals the website, he scrolls to the bottom and looks at the recent posts. He sees the username "Leo" lined up multiple times. The brow of Llamavore sinks like a pebble in water and a frown develops on Llamavore's face. He takes a large gulp of Letherbee and moves his obviously wooden mouse over a topic, clicking with hesitation. As the topic loads, his eyes drag across the screen. After a couple moments, his frown face turns into his angry face.
Llamavore closes the Internet Explorer window and drags the shortcut to the Recycle Bin. He empties the Recycle Bin and steps out of his obviously wooden chair. The sound of wood sliding on wood made more intense by Leo's posts. He flips both switches on the PC and the monitor without waiting for it to be safe to turn off.
LLAMAVORE: Fuck that stupid fucking website and fuck Leo. Fuck all those guise.
A visibly broken Llamavore finishes his glass of Letherbee and smashes the glass against the floor. He double-takes and realizes with even more frown that will have to clean that up later. He reaches for a hat, hanging off a wall, and puts it on his head. The hat is obviously made of wood. He opens the door and the room lights up with the bright day.
He looks back at the yellow-tinted desktop. He becomes visibly more disgusted and slams the door.
END SCENE
Topic: official llamavore response to recent posts (Read 1486 times)
Recent Posts