Damen got a new laptop for Christmas...you all know what that means.

House 1 (Awesome Family):

Damen
Kenny
Zeep
Delta
Moth

House 2 (The Faggot Family):

Loren
Zombie
Lanna
Azural

This is a forced family...as in, they had no choice. Sorry, fuckers. =/

This begins sometime between 2 and 3 days from now.


Basically, I provide pics and show you what's going on in the family. I'll be using Seasons and only seasons as an expansion pack...and this is Sims 2.

As your Christmas present, I hereby release yo-



Wait, what's that?



Jews don't celebrate Christmas?


Oh, nevermind then.


BETTER LUCK NEXT YEAR.

A game must have 3 different nominations to be included.

Best Nominees

Worst Nominees


I nominate EarthBound for best.

You can nominate multiple games, up to three, for each category.

I nominate Superman 64 for worst.

Meet Lord Xenu. He's awesome and badass...

Lord Xenu: MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA *eats a kitten*

Tank: Xenu, baby...?

...and gay?!

Tank: Xenu, do you love me?

Xenu: I love you, but I don't know if I'm IN love with you...

Suspense

Crunka: *holding gun* WHO ARE YOU?

Xenu: I'M FUCKING XENU

Crunka: No, you aren't! I AM!

Comedy

Xenu: So, two seals walk in a bar...

Tank: *chuckles* Oh, you...

Romance

Tank: ;_; I LOVE YOU

Xenu: I LOVE MYSELF

Cameo appearances!

Damen: *walks on stage, walks back off*




Comes this fall, after I get sued.

REPOST OF THE MAROON GUIDE

8 CHAPTERS MISSING.


This may seem to be a little strange to you newbies, as most of this was made and posted in January. =o. For those who were around then, NOSTALGIA FTW


Baron is an actual member, if he still exists, I don't know.

And also note that Baron is an actual user.







Chapter 1: No Team

A bunch of no team nations are seen, frolicking in the fields. The sun has a smiley face on it as they each live peacefully.

A bunch of nations are agreeing on trades and having a reasonable battle of wits when a black van is seen in the distance.

The nations marvel at the black van as it comes closer… closer… closer…

BAM

It hits little Baron, a new nation on the block.

Damen steps out of the van.

Baron: “;____; Why did you have to resort to violence”

Damen calmly walks over to Baron, picks him up, and throws him into the van.

As the other no teams start to gather around, Damen pulls out a handgun

Damen: “BACK YOU FREAKS! I HAVE A GOD DAMN GUN AND DON’T THINK I WON’T USE IT!”

No Team Nation #1: “o_p I say ol’ chap, what be with you taking a mem-“

Damen shot him.

Damen: “OH SHI-”

Damen got in the black van and quickly drove off.

A sign on the back of the van says: “Maroon or Bust”



Chapter 2: Damen and his Black Van of Fun!

Baron: “o_o I’m sorry friend, but I must ask you to take me back if you can…”

Damen: “>_>” *reloads gun*

Baron: “…Where are we headed, anyway?”

Damen: “Maroon, dumbass.”

Baron: “…but… I’m only a no-teamer”

Damen: “We have a lot of work to do”

Baron begins to complain, and Damen drives faster.

The black van suddenly stops in the middle of nowhere, sending Baron flying into the seat due to the sudden stop.

Damen throws Baron out onto the ground..

Damen: >_> You see, you’re gonna Maroon, and you’re gonna like it

Baron: …but…

Damen takes out a bag and a few animals. The animals are: A Wild Cat, A Wild Dog, and A wild cougar.

Damen throws Baron in the bag, and puts the other animals in one-by-one.

Damen then throws the bag in the back of the van.

Damen: YOU’RE GONNA MAROON, AND YOU’RE GONNA LIKE IT, *!%@$

He got in the van and began to drive in the general direction of Maroon. Screams are growls are heard in the back.






Chapter 3: Maroon’s Gate

Damen stops in front of a huge gate, where Smith stands.

Damen pulls out the bag, and opens it as Baron screams and jumps out. The other animals continue to fight.

Baron is badly bruised, and Damen Is surprised he is alive.

Baron: ;_______; Ar..are we t-t-here yet…?

Damen: Are you in a bag with wild animals?

Baron: O_O no…

Damen: Then I guess we’re there, dumbass.

As they walk over to the gate, Smith jumps in front of a lock.

Smith: THOU SHAL NOT PASS

Baron: >_> Well, I guess we have to go back to the no team sect-

Damen: CHESTNUT (in lower case)

The huge gate swings open, and Baron stares in amazement.

Damen: >_> You first.

Baron: …why?

Damen: *is suddenly holding a shotgun* You kinda look like a dog…

Baron: O_O…

Damen: RUN LASSIE, RUN! *begins shooting*

Baron begins to run in. Damen looks to Smith as he keeps changing his name.

“Why is Smith the Maroon team Moderator? BECAUSE WE SAID SO!"






Chapter 4: Spam. Part 1

Damen and Baron walks threw Maroon… no one in sight.

*a bell rings* It sounds kinda like a Church Bell.

Damen: o_o… *checks watch*

Damen slowly begins to walk in the opposite direction as the ground begins shaking.

Baron: What’s happen-…

OVER NINE THOUSAND posts and users are seen running towards them…

Baron: O_O

Damen: SAVE YOURSELF!

Baron begins to run, quickly passing Damen. Damen pulls out his handgun and shoots Baron in the legs.

Damen: ME FIRST! NOW SAVE YOURSELF!

Baron slowly begins to stand upright and begins limping.

Baron: WHAT IS THIS?

Damen: Baron. It’s… IT’S… A SPAM OFF!

As the users/posts get closer, OVER NINE THOUSAND more appear.

Baron is seen falling over and being trampled as Damen starts running over users with his black van.

A being begins to fly into the air, his palm pointing towards the crowd.

He is Basstiat(no, this is not a typo)

Basstiat: WARNED FOR SPAMMING

Everyone: WTF

*posts and users run away*

Baron is seen on the ground, motionless.

Damen: >_> Get up.

Baron doesn’t move.

Damen: *cocks shotgun*

Baron jumps up.

Damen: That’s what I thought.





Chapter 5: Spam. Part 2

Baron: What is Spam?

Damen: Spam? Why, it’s a post that has nothing to do with the topic, and contributes nothing in the hope of gaining user levels, or, as most would say, every post in Maroon.

Baron: Including this one?

Damen: Well, this is supposed to be a guide, but how helpful am I?

Baron: Not very…

*a naked Marooner begins running through topics*

Marooner: I AM IN UR BASE BEIN NEKED

Damen: See?

Baron: O_O MY EYES!

Damen: Yep, that’s pretty common around these parts.

Baron: >_> Can I go back now?

Damen: I still have that bag, you know…

Baron: Nevermind.

Damen: But there is a special user. One who has given himself a title above all others. One who spams every day.

Baron: Zessa?

Damen: *punches in the kidneys* The other one.

Baron: Bernard…?

Damen: *shoots at feet, missing* You call him the pope.

Baron: …why?

Damen: Why?

WHY DO THEY CALL BERNARD THE POPE? HOW DOES BARON SURVIVE ALL THE BRUTALITY? HOW DOES DAMEN KNOW SO MUCH? WILL I EVER GET LAID?

FIND OUT ON THE NEXT THRILLING EPISODE OF: “NOOBS GUIDE TO MAROON!"






Chapter 6: The Pope

Last time on “Noobs Guide to Maroon”…

Baron: >_> I’m pregnant

Damen: dry.gif Sorry about that, the dog was hornier than I thought…

*scene changes to a chase scene*

Damen: DRIVE, *!%@$, DRIVE!

*a car suddenly crashes through a billboard*

Damen: DRIVE YOU MORON!

Baron: WE’RE IN THE AIR

Damen: WHA-

*a car crashes*

*Baron and Damen walk out of the car without a scratch*

*scene changes*

Baron is seen in a field of flowers with a pretty girl. They are holding hands as Baron leans in for his first kiss.

The film begins to skip, and Damen is seen parked on top of where the girl used to be. Baron is crying

Damen: o_o oops…



*back to reality*

Damen: Why? Because he is the leader of popes. The other Popes wish they could be as Pope-like as him. But no, he was decided to be the king pope.

*the pope is seen standing on a pavilion with millions of people around*

Pope: *clears throat* ARE YOU READY TO ROCK?

Baron: @_@ WTF

Damen: Oh if I had a nickel for every time someone said that… But yeah, he is Popey McPope. The Pope to end all Popes.

Baron: >_> So he just said he was a pope and no one complained?

Damen: Pretty much.

Baron: Isn’t the Pope supposed to be a rel-

Damen: Oh look, your kidneys seem to be acting up.

Baron: huh?

Damen: *punches Baron in the kidneys, leading to Baron violently vomiting.* Oh, get up faker.





Chapter 7: Respect Your Elders

Damen and Baron continue their journey through Maroon when they come upon a group of elderly users.

Baron: Who are these users?

Damen: Why, they’re Elders dumbass!

Baron: Elders?

Damen: >_> Basically a bunch of users that have been around for a while.

The Pope is seen spamming. A flurry of old users run through and surrounds the Pope.

As the Pope begins his speech, everyone crowds around.

Damen: You’re about to learn a very valuable lesson.

Damen takes a rock, and throws it at the Pope, knocking him over.

A bunch of old users glare at Damen with evil eyes.

Damen: >_> dry.gif IT WAS HIM! *points to Baron*

Old users: Yeah! It must be him! He’s new therefore he knows NOTHING!

A few hours later, Baron is found in broken bones and scrapes everywhere

Baron: Oh…My…God… My sple-een…

Damen: >_> you shoulda respected your elders.

Baron: BUT YOU THREW THE ROCK!

Damen: e_e I’m an elder to you, and I have a shotgun.

Baron: I mean, I’m sorry sir.

Damen: Now make me a sammich, *!%@$.

Baron: Wh-…

Damen: *cocks shotgun*

Baron: RIGHT AWAY SIR!

Damen: That’s more I like it.





Chapter 8: GWII

Damen: Now time for your war history!

Baron: …

Damen: What?

Baron: Every damn chapter I’m nearly killed, and you don’t think of it as a big thing.

Damen: >_> Well, you’re not too important, see.

Baron: Why not?

Damen: Because you exist.

Baron: But you exist, too!

Damen: no u

*a GWII veteran is in a wheelchair with a glass eye, and missing his legs. He is a LUEser.*

LUEser: @_e Why, the war was completely important…

Baron: What happened?

LUEser: Well, ya see, the GOONS is a bunch of guys who feel threaten by an alliance about 1/10 of their size.

Baron: So they’re a bunch of wusses?

LUEser: >_> Well, if you put it that way… DON’T INTERRUPT ME. Anyway, FARK was a small and peaceful alliance… when GOONS invaded. LUE saw the only sensible action, KILL EM ALL. WE ATTACKED GOONS! WE SHOULDA WON! LEAGUE PULLED OUT! GAH! I NEED MY MEDICATION!

Baron: O_O Dam-

LUEser: I SAID DON’T INTERRUPT. Anyway, League saw. They came. They left. So we were pretty much screwed after that. But we still fought the good fight. Until we lost our mask. Then we were the sad…

Baron: Mask?

Damen: I’ll explain later, dumbass.

Baron: Why do you call me dum-

Damen: Baron, why don’t you give the ol’ guy his medication.

Baron: O-oh kay…

*damen hands Baron a needle*

Damen: Stick it in his neck…

Baron: Bu-

Damen: DO EET

*Baron tries to stick the needle in the old guy’s neck, but the old guy starts movin around, grabs the needle, and slams it into Baron’s leg*

Baron: MY LEG! *falls over*

Damen: lol. I told you it would be funny.

LUEser: *pulls off old guy mask and stands up* lol




Chapter 9: RIA

Damen: I have some good news and some bad news, Baron.

Baron: What's the good news?

Damen: We're leaving Maroon.

Baron: Wha- OH GOD YES! YEAH!

Damen: But we're coming back.

Baron: ;___;

Damen: And we're going to RIA

Baron: >_> Is that the good news or the bad?

Damen: It's the worse news. The RIA is like, the kings of Maroon. Seriously, they're friggin awesome. We're random, insane, and an alliance.

Baron: Oh, I can't wait!

*a few hours later, Baron is found in an alley with his pants pulled down and a 5 in his hand*

Damen: ...Whew. What a party.

Baron: ...what hap-pened?

Damen: Son, you don't want to know. You do not want to know.

Baron: Can we go back to Maroon?

Damen: happy.gif That's the spirit! Less go.












What? You thought I was going to end a chapter without having Baron injured? Pfft...






Damen: We're back, and you don't need to go to the hospital.

Baron: Yea-

*at that second, Smith jumps on him and gives him a surprise inspection by pulling out his intestines*

Baron: *motionless*

Smith: That'll be tree fiddy




Chapter 10: Green

Damen: Time for you to learn of Green!

Baron: But we're in Maroon

Damen: >_> O RLY? I couldn't tell. Anyway, the greens are a bunch of wannabe spammers. That's why we spent about a day getting roughly 1k posts in the maroon forums.

Baron: O_O Why?

Damen: >_> cuz we're awesome.

Baron: Did Green ever fnd out about this.

Damen: find*, and yes. They tried to take back their le-

Baron: ...did you just correct my spelling?

Damen: >_> Yes, why?

Baron: ..aren't we supposed to be talking, but being recorded for the enjoyment of Marooners.

Damen: o_o Oh shi- *pulls out walkie-talkie* CODE RED! CODE RED!

*a black van pulls up, and Shamed and Zessa throw Baron in*

Damen: GOGOGOGOGO

*later that day, Baron walks out of a hospital*

Damen: Ready to go?

Baron: O_O I saw thing...

Damen: >_> Yes... I know...

Baron: ;___;

Damen: Anyway, Green tried to take back their lead and failed. Miserably. We r teh roxorz in ur soxorz. We can't be beat

Baron: What about any of the other teams?

Damen: Well, Aqua beat Brown, but that's another chapter.

Baron: Do any other teams try to spam like Maroon?

Damen: Green does, some of the time. But that's aside the point. Time for a royal smiting!

*everyone gathers round the Pope*

Pope: E_E This infidel was caught in our base, trying to kill our dudes. How do you plead?

Infidel: I blame Ruben.

Pope: *smites*

Baron: O_O OH MY GAWD

Damen: >_> First royal smiting?

Baron: ;____;

Damen: >_> HEY POPE!

Pope: lol, wut

Damen: BARON WANTS TO BE SMITED!

Pope: e_e I don't give out free smitings...

Damen: He called you fat!

Pope: OH THAT LITTLE...

Baron;: OH SHI-




Chapter 11: Gods of Maroon

Now for the long-awaited come back of the guide. You guys waited almost two days for an update

Baron: ...*sigh*...

Damen: What's wrong?

Baron: ...Do you really wanna know?

Damen: No. Now time for your learnings of the Gods of Maroon!

Baron: God?

Damen: *smashes Baron face with a baseball bat* PLURAL! GODS. But yes, gods. The Demi and Semi gods.

Baron: Which one is the higher up?

Damen: >_> As any person with any intelligence would know, Demi gods > Semi gods. But that doesn't mean Semigods aren't awesome.

Baron: ...Are you a demigod?

Damen: *sigh* >_> I'm a semigod, but that doesn't mean that I can't take a pipe to the side of your head.

Baron: And what am I?

Damen: Well, right now you're really annoying. *chuckle*

Baron: No, ser-

Damen: *hits baron in the head with a hot frying pan*

Baron: ;____; WTF

Damen: I chuckled, and you didn't.

Baron: *chuckles nervously*

Damen: That's better.

Baron: Who's all the Demigods?

Damen: >_> Teh Pope, Zessa, Delta, Iron, and-

Baron: Shouldn't there be less?

Damen: Probably. Now, go fetch Lassie. You interrupted me.

Baron: I'm not a dog, and you didn't throw anyt-

Damen: *cocks shotgun* YOU WANNA BE OLD YELLER?

Baron: *runs after imaginary stick*





























The hot frying pan is a weapon from Dead Rising, btw










Chapter 12: Smith
Smith is seen flying in Maroon on Christmas

Smith: I BROUGHT YOU GUYS A TARP!
[/flashback]

Damen: happy.gif Now time for you to finally learn about the Maroon team moderator!

Baron: Enforcer?

Damen: E_E YOU DO NOT SPEAK THAT NAME IN MAROON

Baron: ;___; Is that a rule?

Damen: It's rule 5, to be exact.

Baron: There are rules of Maroon? Where are they?

Damen: *points to Damen's head*

Baron: How are they offic-

Damen: What's that? You wanna know more about Smith? Alright then!

Baron: No... I wanted to kn-

Damen: Anyway, Smith is the official maroon team mod. He's like, 1337 with a capital 1.

Baron: 1's a number...

Damen: Exactly. That's how awesome Smith is.

Baron: Why is he awesome though?

Damen: Because you touch yourself at night. In all seriousness, it's because his posts are made of awesome, we have our own religion of Smith, and cause he pins stuff for us. Just to name a FEW reasons.

Baron: So Smith is awesome, because he's awesome?

Damen: Pretty much.

Baron: PARADOX

Damen: You just broke rule 18

Baron: And what rule is that?

Damen: You have to be awesome to use bold and say PARADOX.

Baron: Aren't I awesome?

Damen: You're bout as awesome of that crap I stepped in this morn.

Baron: o_o

Damen: Yes?

Baron: *points to the sky*

*Smith is seen throwing bags of kittens into Maroon from the ROFLcopter*

Smith: CATURDAY, CATURDAY, EVERY DAY IS CATURDAY!

Baron: O_O

Smith: THROWING CATS, THROWING CATS, HIT THEM WITH YOUR BATS!

Baron: O_O

Damen: XD! That's also why Smith is awesome.

Baron: ...How do they survive the fall?

*the cats suddenly leap out of the bags as little parachutes erupt from a bag on their backs*

Damen: Smith wouldn't purposely hurt anything. Unless it's human

Baron: Like you and me?

Damen: Naw, not me. I'm above human. I'm a Semigod now, remember?

Baron: ...what about me?

Damen: HEY SMITH! FRESH BLOOD!

Baron: *runs*

[21:15] *** You were kicked from #RIA by Moth[RIA]: Kick!
[21:15] *** Auto-rejoining #RIA due to kick...
[21:15] *** Initial topic: Random Insanity Alliance | http://rialliance.net | VIVA LA RIA! | You just lost The Game.| We're no strangers to love. | I being horny. ~Azuzu | Channel Rated XXX, banned in 8 countries and 1 IRC server | FUCK YEAH NUKES
[21:15] *** #RIA: Damen +C-zom +Supertwigs ArGo|Death3965 elim %dester[RIA] +eliminat +Zblewski[RIA] +OverlordShinnra +jutopia[CORE] +Invader_Zim1987 &Lanna[TOP] +Calderone[AFK] +SetiCruncher[ArGo] +Zicquall[RIA] @MarthurLutherKingJr +Bama[TOOL|Gov] +Trace|MK &Delta1212[RIA] %timberh0[RIA] +Imperator +WorkingSexy %Cpt[GOD]zilla +Logan +Quadriplegic[fark][BC] %grandxanth[csn] +Suini[RIA] +Lord_Doom[RIA|PaX] %crazyisraelie[PENIS]
[21:15] *** #RIA: +Comander_Anarch +Musta[TCW|Void] +Donut61 +tweek &Moth[RIA] +sleep +LloydSev[RIA] %Doctor_Fresh[MCXA]
[21:15] *** #RIA was created on Tue Jul 31 23:28:43 2007.
[21:15] *** Mode change "+h Damen" for channel #RIA by ChanServ.
[21:15] Zblewski[RIA]: moth.
[21:15] Damen: Moth kicking someone?!
[21:15] Damen: THIS CANNOT BE
[21:15] Damen: OH GOD
[21:15] Damen: THIS MUST BE BIZZARO WORLD
[21:15] Damen: BizzaroDome
[21:15] Zblewski[RIA]: Moth.
[21:15] *** You are now known as DizzaroDome.
[21:15] Moth[RIA]: What?
[21:15] Zblewski[RIA]: I find your demeanor amusing and lol
[21:15] eliminat: And the Bond Thanksgiving Tradition has started on Spike
[21:16] *** You are now known as DamenDead.
[21:16] *** You are now known as Doman.
[21:16] Supertwigs: XD
[21:16] *** Caesar[ASC] has joined #RIA.
[21:16] Doman: OH GOD
[21:16] Doman: WHO AM I
[21:16] Doman: I DON'T KNOW
[21:16] *** Mode change "+h Caesar[ASC]" for channel #RIA by ChanServ.
[21:16] Doman: I'M TOTALLY FREAKING OUT MAN
[21:16] eliminat: you are freaking out............man
[21:17] Doman: WHY ARE MY HANDS BIGGER THAN MY FACE
[21:17] Doman: OH GOD
[21:17] Doman: MY HANDS CAN TOUCH EVERYTHING BUT THEMSELVES
[21:17] Doman: OH GOD
[21:17] *** Bama[TOOL|Gov] is now known as Bama[TOOL|Gov]afk.
[21:17] Doman: WHY DO I FEEL LIKE I'M TYPING
[21:17] Supertwigs: XD
[21:17] Supertwigs: RIA
[21:17] Doman: MY HANDS ARE TYPING AND MY MIND IS BLANK
[21:17] Doman: OH GOD
[21:17] Doman: I CAN'T CONTROL MY HANDS
[21:18] Doman: EVEN NOW MY HANDS HAVE A MIND OF THEIR OWN
[21:18] Caesar[ASC]: CAPS LOCK
[21:18] Doman: WHAT THE FUCK
[21:18] eliminat: ... sounds perfectly normal to me
[21:18] Doman: OH GOD
[21:18] Doman: I'M TOTALLY FREAKIN OUT MAN
[21:18] *** Mixoux[RnR] has joined #RIA.
[21:18] Supertwigs: CAPS LOCK IS CRUISE CONTROL FOR COOL
[21:18] *** Mode change "+v Mixoux[RnR]" for channel #RIA by ChanServ.
[21:18] Doman: OH GOD\
[21:18] Imperator: XD Yay for RIA!
[21:18] Supertwigs: OWW GAWD
[21:18] Doman: I AM THE GREAT LORD BEELZABUB WITH A SPEECH IMPETENMENT
[21:19] Doman: BOW BEFORE ME
[21:19] Doman: OH GOD THE HANDS
[21:19] Doman: THEY'RE TOUCHING THEMSELVES
[21:19] Doman: WHAT THE FUCK
[21:19] Doman: HOW ARE THEY DOING THAT
[21:19] eliminat: Idle Hands much?
[21:19] Moth[RIA]: DUDE, YOUR FACE IS A CLOCK!
[21:19] C-zom: o_O
[21:19] Doman: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH
[21:19] C-zom: IT IS!?
[21:19] C-zom: AGGHHHH
[21:19] Moth[RIA]: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH
[21:19] Doman: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH
[21:19] C-zom: AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH
[21:19] Doman: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
[21:19] Moth[RIA]: AAAAAAGGGGHHHH!
[21:19] C-zom: AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH
[21:19] Supertwigs: I M TEH GREET LAWD BEELZABUB WIT A SPEEK IMFETEMENT
[21:19] C-zom: -Drops dead-
[21:19] Doman: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH
[21:19] Doman: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAA
[21:19] Supertwigs: BEOW B4 MEH
[21:20] *** dester[RIA] has left #RIA.
[21:20] Supertwigs: AWW GAWD TEH HAUNDS
[21:20] *** CaptainJuan[Fark] has joined #RIA.
[21:20] *** Mode change "+v CaptainJuan[Fark]" for channel #RIA by ChanServ.
[21:20] Doman: I'M BEING BITTEN BY DOGS THAT AREN'T EVEN THERE
[21:20] Supertwigs: THRE TOOCHING TEMSELF
[21:20] Doman: WHAT THE FUCK MAN
[21:20] Supertwigs: WAT TEH FOOK
[21:20] Supertwigs: HOW R TEH DOIN TAT
[21:20] Doman: I DON'T KNOW
[21:20] Doman: MAAAAAN
[21:20] Doman: I ONLY SMOKED ONE BAG
[21:21] Supertwigs: I NO, I NLY SMOKE BAG 2
[21:21] Doman: OH GOOOOOD
[21:21] Doman: I'M TOTALLY FREAKING OUT
[21:21] Doman: MY MIRROR IS SHOWING MYSELF
[21:21] Doman: OH SHIT
[21:22] Supertwigs: XD
[21:22] Doman: WHAT THE FUUUUCK
[21:22] Doman: I THOUGHT ONLY VAMPIRES HAVE REFLECTIONS
[21:22] Doman: WHY THE FUCK DO I HAVE A REFLECTION?
[21:22] Supertwigs: U IS NAO A VAMPER
[21:22] Doman: MAN YOU FREAKIN ME THE FUCK OUT
[21:22] Supertwigs: Okay, guys.
[21:23] Doman: MEOW EVERYTHING IS TURNING PURPLE
[21:23] Doman: OH GOOOOOD
[21:23] Supertwigs: I'm not coming back to #RIA until I 5-star Waterworld with Leon.
[21:23] * eliminat shoots Doman with elephant tranqs
[21:23] Supertwigs: Because it's all I need to get my Handcannon.
[21:23] Supertwigs: Wish me luck.
[21:23] Doman: I SEE 5 STARS RIGHT NOW MAAAAAN
[21:23] Doman: WHAT THE FUUUUCK
[21:23] Doman: HOLY SHIT I'M STILL DOMAN
[21:23] Doman: WHAT THE FUUUUUUUUUUCK
[21:23] Supertwigs: WISH ME FUCKING LUCK
[21:23] *** Supertwigs is now known as Damen.
[21:23] Damen: >.>
[21:24] Damen: See ya guys.
[21:24] Doman: HOLY SHIT IT'S MEEEE
[21:24] Damen: HOLY HELL
[21:24] Damen: It's me!
[21:24] Doman: MY COMPUTER IS NOW MY FUCKING MIRROR
[21:24] Doman: DOES THAT MEAN THAT MY MIRROR IS NOW MY COMPUTER?
[21:24] Doman: AND MY FUCKING MOUSE IS MY FUCKING KEYBOARD
[21:24] Doman: AND MY SPEAKERS ARE MY TOWER
[21:24] Doman: AND MY TOWER IS MY MODEM
[21:24] Comander_Anarch: wut?
[21:24] Doman: WHAT THE FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK
[21:24] Comander_Anarch: WUT?
[21:24] Damen: >.>  Ignore Damen, Anarch.
[21:24] *** Damen has signed off IRC (NickServ (GHOST command used by Doman)).
[21:24] *** -NickServ- Ghost with your nick has been killed.
[21:25] Doman: WHAT THE FUUUUUUUUUUCK
[21:25] Doman: HOLY SHIT
[21:25] Doman: WHY AM I CHRIS HANSEN?
[21:25] Comander_Anarch: wait wut
[21:25] Doman: I'M FUCKING CHRIS HANSEN
[21:25] Doman: WHAT THE FUUUUUUUUUUCK
[21:25] *** You are now known as ChrisHansen.
[21:25] ChrisHansen: TAKE A SEAAAAAAT
[21:25] ChrisHansen: SIIIIIR
[21:25] * Comander_Anarch sits
[21:25] ChrisHansen: ARE YOU HANDS BIGGER THAN YOUR FAAAAAAAACE
[21:25] *** C-zom has signed off IRC (Quit: CGI:IRC).
[21:25] ChrisHansen: WHAT THE FUUUUUUUUUUUUCK
[21:26] *** You are now known as House.
[21:26] Comander_Anarch: they are sir
[21:26] * House takes vikaden and passes out
[21:26] House: x_x

If you want HL2, you have to agree to the following terms:

You must make a topic once a week saying you're my bitch
You are my bitch forever and ever
You must never repeat the info I give you

deal?

[20:21] .Smith & Gyles & Amber & Dijk & Ferris & Emmy & Brittan & Josh: Quit being sexy dammit!
[20:22] Damen: Smeeth?
[20:22] .Smith & Gyles & Amber & Dijk & Ferris & Emmy & Brittan & Josh: Yes
[20:22] Damen: HA FUCKER
[20:22] Damen: I GOT IT RIGHT THIS TIME
[20:22] .Smith & Gyles & Amber & Dijk & Ferris & Emmy & Brittan & Josh: Lol I gotta go though
[20:22] Damen: ;_;
[20:22] *** ".Smith & Gyles & Amber & Dijk & Ferris & Emmy & Brittan & Josh" signed off at Sat Oct 27 20:22:27 2007.
[20:22] Damen: goodbye my little fucker
[20:22] Damen: ;_;
[20:22] Damen: Remember all the good times
[20:22] *** NOTE: This user is offline.  Your messages will most likely *not* be received!
[20:22] Damen: <_<
[20:22] *** NOTE: This user is offline.  Your messages will most likely *not* be received!
[20:22] Damen: flashback time
[20:22] *** NOTE: This user is offline.  Your messages will most likely *not* be received!
[20:22] Damen: [20:21] .Smith & Gyles & Amber & Dijk & Ferris & Emmy & Brittan & Josh: Quit being sexy dammit!
 [20:22] Damen: Smeeth?
[20:22] *** NOTE: This user is offline.  Your messages will most likely *not* be received!
[20:23] Damen: Oh, I remember
[20:23] *** NOTE: This user is offline.  Your messages will most likely *not* be received!
[20:23] Damen: [20:22] .Smith & Gyles & Amber & Dijk & Ferris & Emmy & Brittan & Josh: Yes
 [20:22] Damen: HA FUCKER
 [20:22] Damen: I GOT IT RIGHT THIS TIME
[20:23] *** NOTE: This user is offline.  Your messages will most likely *not* be received!
[20:23] Damen: How it pained me to see you go
[20:23] *** NOTE: This user is offline.  Your messages will most likely *not* be received!
[20:23] Damen: [20:22] .Smith & Gyles & Amber & Dijk & Ferris & Emmy & Brittan & Josh: Lol I gotta go though
 [20:22] Damen: ;_;
[20:23] *** NOTE: This user is offline.  Your messages will most likely *not* be received!
[20:23] Damen: ...
[20:23] *** NOTE: This user is offline.  Your messages will most likely *not* be received!
[20:23] Damen: I KNOW HE'S OFFLINE
[20:23] *** NOTE: This user is offline.  Your messages will most likely *not* be received!
[20:23] Damen: stfu
[20:23] *** NOTE: This user is offline.  Your messages will most likely *not* be received!
[20:23] Damen: stfu

[17:45] *** Initial topic: Random Insanity Alliance | http://rialliance.net | VIVA LA RIA! | You just lost The Game.| We're no strangers to love. | Hay secksie Carmen! Be mine forevar? | I being horny. ~Azuzu | penis! | Channel Rated XXX, banned in 8 countries
[17:45] *** #RIA: Damen %Cpt[GOD]zilla &Moth[RIA] +Krull|GOD ~Azural +Invader_Zim1987 +Trace|MK +HordeOfDoom +NCC\STA +CaptainJuan[Fark] @Vintus|Away +Quadriplegic[fark][BC] +Mortale[FOK] +kean &Lanna +BrilliantGenius[NoV] &Delta1212[RIA] +moshea +Imperator|Legion @MarthurLutherKingJr @Hyperonic[RIA] %Valashu[MCXA] %Doctor_Fresh[MCXA]
[17:45] *** Mode change "+h Damen" for channel #RIA by ChanServ.
[17:45] *** #RIA was created on Tue Jul 31 23:28:43 2007.
[17:45] Cpt[GOD]zilla: lol
[17:45] Damen: i r bak
[17:45] Damen: lawld
[17:45] Cpt[GOD]zilla: welcome back
[17:45] *** Cpt[GOD]zilla has been kicked from #RIA by ChanServ: My finger slipped? (Azural)
[17:45] *** Cpt[GOD]zilla has joined #RIA.
[17:45] *** Mode change "+h Cpt[GOD]zilla" for channel #RIA by ChanServ.
[17:45] *** You are now known as DamenDome.
[17:45] DamenDome: >.>'
[17:46] Cpt[GOD]zilla: its not like i grouped it or anything <_<
[17:46] DamenDome: Good
[17:46] Cpt[GOD]zilla: im not that much of an ass
[17:46] Cpt[GOD]zilla: unless it was Vintus
[17:46] *** You are now known as Vintus.
[17:46] Vintus: >_>
[17:46] Vintus: Wait a minute
[17:46] Vintus: ...
[17:46] Vintus: This isn't registered>!
[17:46] *** -NickServ- You are now in the group of Damen.
[17:46] Vintus: XD
[17:46] CaptainJuan[Fark]: heh
[17:46] Vintus: I just grouped this nick
[17:46] Vintus: XD
[17:46] BTWTaffyisMoth: >_>
[17:46] *** You are now known as Damen.
[17:46] Cpt[GOD]zilla: lulz
[17:46] Damen: <_<
[17:46] *** You are now known as Vintus[RIA].
[17:46] *** -NickServ- This nickname is registered and protected.  If it is your
[17:47] *** -NickServ- nick, type /msg NickServ IDENTIFY password.  Otherwise,
[17:47] *** -NickServ- please choose a different nick.
[17:47] Vintus[RIA]: Oh, THIS is registered
[17:47] Vintus[RIA]: <_<
[17:47] *** You are now known as Damen.
[17:47] *** CaptainJuan[Fark] is now known as Vintus.
[17:47] *** Vintus has signed off IRC (NickServ (GHOST command used by Damen)).
[17:47] *** -NickServ- Ghost with your nick has been killed.
[17:47] Damen: No!
[17:47] Damen: No you don't!
[17:47] Damen: >_>
[17:47] Damen: MEIN
[17:47] Cpt[GOD]zilla: XD
[17:47] *** CaptainJuan[Fark] has joined #RIA.
[17:47] *** Mode change "+v CaptainJuan[Fark]" for channel #RIA by ChanServ.
[17:48] CaptainJuan[Fark]: fucker
[17:48] Damen: MEIN NICK
[17:48] *** Cpt[GOD]zilla is now known as CaptainJuan.
[17:48] *** Twiligh1 has joined #RIA.
[17:48] *** You are now known as Delta1212.
[17:48] *** -NickServ- You are now in the group of Damen.
[17:48] Delta1212: I just grouped this nick too
[17:48] Delta1212: XD
[17:49] *** You are now known as Damen.
[17:49] *** Mode change "+v Twiligh1" for channel #RIA by CaptainJuan.
[17:49] Twiligh1: Hey Guys
[17:49] Damen: I have Delta1212 and Vintus as nicks now
[17:49] Damen: ...I wonder
[17:49] *** You are now known as crazyisraeli.
[17:49] *** You are now known as crazyisraelie.
[17:49] crazyisraelie: How the fuck does he spell it?
[17:49] Twiligh1: that's it
[17:50] crazyisraelie: It is?
[17:50] crazyisraelie: *groups*
[17:50] Twiligh1: Yes
[17:50] *** -NickServ- You are now in the group of Damen.
[17:50] crazyisraelie: Grouped!
[17:50] *** You are now known as Damen.
[17:50] Damen: HA!
[17:50] *** You are now known as whalepenis.
[17:50] *** -NickServ- This nickname is registered and protected.  If it is your
[17:50] *** -NickServ- nick, type /msg NickServ IDENTIFY password.  Otherwise,
[17:50] *** -NickServ- please choose a different nick.
[17:50] Twiligh1: <.<
[17:50] Twiligh1: lawlz
[17:50] whalepenis: Damn
[17:50] *** You are now known as Damen.
[17:51] *** You are now known as Hyperonic.
[17:51] *** -NickServ- You are now in the group of Damen.
[17:51] Hyperonic: Grouped
[17:51] *** You are now known as Damen.
[17:51] Damen: I wonder
[17:52] *** You are now known as Damen_.
[17:52] Damen_: Damn!
[17:52] *** You are now known as Damen.
[17:52] *** CaptainJuan is now known as Damen_.
[17:52] *** You are now known as Trogdor.
[17:52] Trogdor: >_>
[17:52] Damen_: *grouped*
[17:52] Trogdor: You grouped Damen_
[17:52] Trogdor: >_>
[17:52] Damen_: yus
[17:52] Damen_: i did
[17:52] Trogdor: ...Wiw?
[17:53] Damen_: ?
[17:53] *** You are now known as CitizenSnips.
[17:53] *** You are now known as Vintus.
[17:53] Vintus: Hai guys
[17:53] Vintus: I'm Vintus
[17:54] Vintus: I was too stupid to group my original nick
[17:54] Vintus: So I am a victim of identify theft
[17:54] *** You are now known as ChrisHansen.
[17:54] ChrisHansen: Oh Vintus is gonna be pissed...
[17:54] *** -NickServ- You are now in the group of Damen.
[17:54] Damen_: shit
[17:54] ChrisHansen: *grouped*
[17:54] Damen_: i don't think i grouped my original nick
[17:54] Damen_: <_<
[17:54] *** You are now known as Chris_Hansen.
[17:55] *** -NickServ- Please wait 30 seconds before using the GROUP command again.
[17:55] *** -NickServ- Please wait 30 seconds before using the GROUP command again.
[17:55] *** -NickServ- You are now in the group of Damen.
[17:55] Twiligh1: @_@ I'm confused now
[17:55] Chris_Hansen: Grouped
[17:55] *** You are now known as Damen.
[17:55] *** Damen_ is ~chatzilla@DAA2D44D.8E5B90E1.1C055C62.IP (New Now Know How)
[17:55] *** Damen_ is on: %#RIA #TORN
[17:55] *** Damen_ is using bucket.ga.us.synirc.net stupid internet meme involving buckets goes here
[17:55] *** End of /WHOIS.
[17:55] Damen_: i don't think i grouped my original nick O_o
[17:55] *** You are now known as CptGodZilla.
[17:55] *** -NickServ- This nickname is registered and protected.  If it is your
[17:55] *** -NickServ- nick, type /msg NickServ IDENTIFY password.  Otherwise,
[17:55] *** -NickServ- please choose a different nick.
[17:55] *** You have been disconnected. Fri Oct 26 17:55:45 2007.
[17:56] *** Automatically rejoining channel...
[17:56] *** -> -NickServ- IDENTIFY <password>
[17:56] *** -NickServ- This nickname is registered and protected.  If it is your
[17:56] *** -NickServ- nick, type /msg NickServ IDENTIFY password.  Otherwise,
[17:56] *** -NickServ- please choose a different nick.
[17:56] *** You are now known as Damen.
[17:56] *** -NickServ- This nickname is registered and protected.  If it is your
[17:56] *** -NickServ- nick, type /msg NickServ IDENTIFY password.  Otherwise,
[17:56] *** -NickServ- please choose a different nick.
[17:56] *** Channel re-joined successfully.
[17:56] *** Initial topic: Random Insanity Alliance | http://rialliance.net | VIVA LA RIA! | You just lost The Game.| We're no strangers to love. | Hay secksie Carmen! Be mine forevar? | I being horny. ~Azuzu | penis! | Channel Rated XXX, banned in 8 countries
[17:56] *** #RIA: Damen +Twiligh1 +CaptainJuan[Fark] %Damen_ &Moth[RIA] +Krull|GOD ~Azural +Invader_Zim1987 +Trace|MK +HordeOfDoom +NCC\STA @Vintus|Away +Quadriplegic[fark][BC] +Mortale[FOK] +kean &Lanna +BrilliantGenius[NoV] &Delta1212[RIA] +moshea +Imperator|Legion @MarthurLutherKingJr @Hyperonic[RIA] %Valashu[MCXA] %Doctor_Fresh[MCXA]
[17:56] *** Mode change "+h Damen" for channel #RIA by ChanServ.
[17:56] *** #RIA was created on Tue Jul 31 23:28:43 2007.
[17:56] *** Damen_ is now known as CptGodzilla.
[17:56] Damen: Expected
[17:56] Damen: >_>
[17:56] *** You are now known as Loren.
[17:56] *** -NickServ- This nickname is registered and protected.  If it is your
[17:56] *** -NickServ- nick, type /msg NickServ IDENTIFY password.  Otherwise,
[17:56] *** -NickServ- please choose a different nick.
[17:56] CptGodzilla: lol what do you think i am? and idiot
[17:56] *** You are now known as Damen.
[17:56] Twiligh1: @_@
[17:56] Damen: Well, a lot of people are idiots these dyas
[17:57] *** You are now known as Shyox.
[17:57] *** -NickServ- This nickname is registered and protected.  If it is your
[17:57] *** -NickServ- nick, type /msg NickServ IDENTIFY password.  Otherwise,
[17:57] *** -NickServ- please choose a different nick.
[17:57] *** You are now known as Damen.
[17:57] Damen: Damen
[17:57] Damen: Damen
[17:57] Damen: Damen
[17:57] Damen: Nemad
[17:57] *** You are now known as EnragedLobster.
[17:57] *** -NickServ- This nickname is registered and protected.  If it is your
[17:57] *** -NickServ- nick, type /msg NickServ IDENTIFY password.  Otherwise,
[17:57] *** -NickServ- please choose a different nick.
[17:57] *** -NickServ- If you do not change within 20 seconds, I will change your nick.
[17:57] EnragedLobster: Damn!
[17:57] *** -NickServ- Your nickname is now being changed to Guest15855
[17:57] *** You are now known as Guest15855.
[17:57] Guest15855: wtf
[17:57] Guest15855: It won't let me change my nick
[17:58] *** -NickServ- Nick Damen isn't currently in use.
[17:58] *** You are now known as Damen.
[17:58] Twiligh1: XD
[17:58] Damen: There
[17:58] Azural: lol
[17:58] *** CptGodzilla is now known as Azuzu.
[17:58] Azural|away: lol
[17:58] Azural|away: Dumbass.
[17:58] *** You are now known as Azural[RIA].
[17:58] *** -NickServ- This nickname is registered and protected.  If it is your
[17:58] *** -NickServ- nick, type /msg NickServ IDENTIFY password.  Otherwise,
[17:58] *** -NickServ- please choose a different nick.
[17:58] *** -NickServ- If you do not change within 20 seconds, I will change your nick.
[17:58] *** Azuzu is now known as Damen_.
[17:58] *** You are now known as Damen.
[17:58] Damen: >_>
[17:58] Twiligh1: >_<
[17:58] Azural|away: You're lucky SynIRC doesn't kill you like Esper does.
[17:59] Damen: lawl
[17:59] Damen: Your face
[17:59] Azural|away: ...
[17:59] Damen_: esper has a 10 second count
[17:59] Damen_: before it kills
[17:59] Damen_: dumbass.
[17:59] Damen_: <_<
[17:59] Damen_: >_>
[17:59] Azural|away: ...
[17:59] Damen: HEY LUK IM AZUZU
[17:59] Damen: ...
[17:59] Damen: ...
[17:59] Damen: ...
[17:59] Damen: ...
[17:59] Damen: ...
[17:59] Damen: ...
[17:59] Damen: ...
[17:59] Damen: ...
[17:59] Damen: ..
[17:59] Twiligh1: ...
[17:59] Damen: ...
[17:59] Damen: ...
[17:59] Damen: ...
[17:59] Damen: ...
[17:59] Damen: ...
[17:59] Damen: ...
[17:59] Damen: ..
[17:59] *** You were kicked from #RIA by ChanServ: Requested (Azural|away)
[17:59] *** Auto-rejoining #RIA due to kick...
[17:59] *** Initial topic: Random Insanity Alliance | http://rialliance.net | VIVA LA RIA! | You just lost The Game.| We're no strangers to love. | Hay secksie Carmen! Be mine forevar? | I being horny. ~Azuzu | penis! | Channel Rated XXX, banned in 8 countries
[17:59] *** #RIA: Damen +Twiligh1 +CaptainJuan[Fark] %Damen_ &Moth[RIA] +Krull|GOD ~Azural|away +Invader_Zim1987 +Trace|MK +HordeOfDoom +NCC\STA @Vintus|Away +Quadriplegic[fark][BC] +Mortale[FOK] +kean &Lanna +BrilliantGenius[NoV] &Delta1212[RIA] +moshea +Imperator|Legion @MarthurLutherKingJr @Hyperonic[RIA] %Valashu[MCXA] %Doctor_Fresh[MCXA]
[17:59] *** Mode change "+h Damen" for channel #RIA by ChanServ.
[17:59] *** #RIA was created on Tue Jul 31 23:28:43 2007.
[17:59] Damen: ...
[17:59] Damen: ...
[17:59] Twiligh1: Dot summoning?
[17:59] Damen: >_>
[18:00] Damen: No, that's an Azural summoning
[18:00] Damen: Fucking noob
[18:00] Twiligh1: <_<
[18:00] *** You are now known as WarriorConcept.
[18:00] *** -NickServ- This nickname is registered and protected.  If it is your
[18:00] *** -NickServ- nick, type /msg NickServ IDENTIFY password.  Otherwise,
[18:00] *** -NickServ- please choose a different nick.
[18:00] WarriorConcept: damn!
[18:00] *** You are now known as Damen.

A long time ago...in a website far far away...

C-Zom: Your overconfidence is your weakness
Azural: Your face is yours.
C-Zom: ...
Azural: OH BURN!

Full of asplosions, and laser beams...

Moth: Lord Azural, we have but one problem with the weapon.
Azural: It's your mother, isn't it?
Moth: ...
Azural: OH BURN!
Moth: It's a small hole in the middle of nowhere.
Azural: Did your mom put it ther-

Star Wars: A New Rape

You walk into a room to realize that it isn't a room at all but a dinosaur, and the door you walked into was your best friend's carcass. You escape the dinosaur only to learn that you are a dead dinosaur, and that your mother was a prostitute. You have walked into a world where the random and insane happen. You have walked into a world with no escape. You have walked into The TwiRIght Zone.

The TwiRIght Zone


I personally like the 2nd crappy one better.