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« on: September 29, 2007, 07:07:30 pm »
I have a very disturbing revelation to reveal.
Back when I moved to my new house, the first thing set up was a computer in my room so I could check my nation. It was done so fast I did not miss a day of collecting taxes, I realize how sad that is. But it was awesome. It was the only thing in the new house, without air-conditioning. It felt like Cuba or something it was so hot, this was in August. The cords weren't set up professionally, it was only a temporary set-up to get on for a little bit. Since there was no chairs, I used a lawn chair.
I wish I had a picture. I recall walking into my empty room and just looking at the little set-up, and I realized something. I'm a terrorist, without even knowing it. I mean, its obvious. It was the most terrorist-like thing I had ever seen, an old computer on a shabby desk with a lawn chair. This was Al Queda technology in my very own bedroom. Had I the sense, I would have checked my room for Bombs just in case I was subconsciously plotting the destruction of the city.
When I told Shamedmonkey this, something stirred up in my mind. If I was a terrorist without even knowing it, who else could be a terrorist? Anyone! And they might not even know it! And then the thought became as clear as day.
Mother Nature is a Terrorist.
Fact: The terrorists flew planes into the Twin Towers and the Pentagon on 9/11, a fourth plane crashed before hitting its target. This led to the destruction of two buildings and the damaging of one.
But look at this.
Fact: Hurricane Katrina, sent by Mother Nature herself, wiped out the entire damn city of New Orleans.
Why am I the only one aware of this!?! We shouldn't be worrying about those little guys over in Arabia, I'm worried about the bitch of a terrorist who is sending hurricans and tornadoes straight at us! When do we fight back!?! I say we declare war on Nature! We start with the Amazons, no longer shall the Queen of PMSing terrorize our inhabitants with Tornadoes in the heart of the U.S., Hurricanes in Florida, and Earthquakes in California. How have we let her get away with this for so long?
Another fact, Terrorists may work on Dirty Bombs, but what does Mother Nature have? Mother F***ing Acid Rain! We have a bitch with acid, taking our smog and turning it against us! This can not endure, down with Mother Nature! Down with Trees! Down with Environmentalists (they're supporters of Mother Nature, so they're obviously terrorist sympathizers)!
But theres more. People that drive Slugbugs. Everywhere they go, they send an urge for us to hit one another! This is some sort of psychological warfare that is being waged upon us unknowingly. How can we stand here while these people drive around, burritos a path of bruised arms and beatings behind them? Death to Slugbug drivers!
Oh no, I'm done yet. In fact, I'm only started. Just look at yourself, look deep inside, you just might be a terrorist! Have you ever scared someone? Is scaring someone not terrifying them? Aha, terrorist! Have you ever startled someone? You might have killed them by giving them a stroke! Terrorist! It goes on and on, we might all be terrorists!
I plan on turning myself in to Mista Bush himself, what about you?
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