The Worst Thing in the World is...

[Arsenal 10]

When someone changes your setting on the toaster and you burn your toast... I mean, who actually checks it before you stick your toast in. In our flat, some people toast from frozen bread so they need longer in the toaster, and others use fresh bread. The agony of the situation is that everyone has burnt fucking toast.

Have you tried jam on burnt toast. It's shit.

Fuck cancer. Fuck famine. This is the worst thing in the world. Someone make me a toaster that solves this problem and you will have saved man-kind.

[Fake from State Jarm]

once when I was in college, our dorm bathroom's sink shelf was completely covered in junk, and I was the only one who gave a fuck enough to clean it up when someone left a note saying administration would take punitive measures. it was probably 2 garbage bags worth, none of the shit was mine, and probably most of it had been there more than a year.

[Arsenal 10]

once when I was in college, our dorm bathroom's sink shelf was completely covered in junk, and I was the only one who gave a fuck enough to clean it up when someone left a note saying administration would take punitive measures. it was probably 2 garbage bags worth, none of the shit was mine, and probably most of it had been there more than a year.

That sounds terrible. I was lucky, in my hall in my first year at Uni, we had a cleaner for each floor who came in daily.

[Pterrydactyl]

When someone changes your setting on the toaster and you burn your toast... I mean, who actually checks it before you stick your toast in. In our flat, some people toast from frozen bread so they need longer in the toaster, and others use fresh bread. The agony of the situation is that everyone has burnt fucking toast.

Have you tried jam on burnt toast. It's shit.

Fuck cancer. Fuck famine. This is the worst thing in the world. Someone make me a toaster that solves this problem and you will have saved man-kind.

What type of funding would you be willing to devote to a project for this?  I have a number of engineering student friends who don't do much and I'm sure we could develop some sort of system that takes the bread, checks it's temperature, and then adjusts the time/heat for optimum toasting.

[Arsenal 10]

When someone changes your setting on the toaster and you burn your toast... I mean, who actually checks it before you stick your toast in. In our flat, some people toast from frozen bread so they need longer in the toaster, and others use fresh bread. The agony of the situation is that everyone has burnt fucking toast.

Have you tried jam on burnt toast. It's shit.

Fuck cancer. Fuck famine. This is the worst thing in the world. Someone make me a toaster that solves this problem and you will have saved man-kind.

What type of funding would you be willing to devote to a project for this?  I have a number of engineering student friends who don't do much and I'm sure we could develop some sort of system that takes the bread, checks it's temperature, and then adjusts the time/heat for optimum toasting.

I would be willing to send a $25 dollar donation the way of your nation if you complete this for me.

[Buck Turgidson]

What type of funding would you be willing to devote to a project for this?  I have a number of engineering student friends who don't do much and I'm sure we could develop some sort of system that takes the bread, checks it's temperature, and then adjusts the time/heat for optimum toasting.

There is one inescapable problem, which is how to keep the thermometer at an accurate reading temperature...

When someone changes your setting on the toaster and you burn your toast... I mean, who actually checks it before you stick your toast in.

I do.  Religiously.  That's because I hate the taste of strawberry jam on burnt toast.

In our flat, some people toast from frozen bread so they need longer in the toaster, and others use fresh bread. The agony of the situation is that everyone has burnt fucking toast.

A second clear solution is for you all to standardize on frozen or fresh bread.

And I bet the ones using frozen bread are not ever burning their toast.  So switch to frozen as the prudent choice, and quit bitching.

[Pterrydactyl]

Well, I talked to them, and current theory is to make the toaster a little taller, and place a laser thermometer near the top.  When the button is pulled down to pull the bread into position, the thermometer will check the temperate for a split second, send the reading to an attached computer, and that will then adjust the timining/heat for that temperature to make perfect toast.

[Jenne]

Well, I talked to them, and current theory is to make the toaster a little taller, and place a laser thermometer near the top.  When the button is pulled down to pull the bread into position, the thermometer will check the temperate for a split second, send the reading to an attached computer, and that will then adjust the timining/heat for that temperature to make perfect toast.

You should be able to monitor the temp throughout the cooking process the same way to determine optimal doneness. 

[aithne]

My toaster has a "frozen" button you press.. so this doesn't happen...

[Pterrydactyl]

Well, I talked to them, and current theory is to make the toaster a little taller, and place a laser thermometer near the top.  When the button is pulled down to pull the bread into position, the thermometer will check the temperate for a split second, send the reading to an attached computer, and that will then adjust the timining/heat for that temperature to make perfect toast.

You should be able to monitor the temp throughout the cooking process the same way to determine optimal doneness. 

I was thinking about that, but because we don't want to dismantle the toaster too much we won't be able to put a sensor inside (at least, in the prototype).

Right now, the current idea is to get an old toaster, and set it to highest heat, then lock it in that position.  Then, we will measure how long it takes for various temperatures of toast to get to "optimum",  Finally, we'll install a "dimmer" to control the amount of electricity the toaster receives.  Once thats setup, we'll attach an IR sensor to the top of the toast, it will get the temperature of the toast, and feed it to the computer which will setup the cycle of how much power/how long for the toast, then it will cut the power and you just have to push the release to bring the toast up (working on a way to either over-ride the "auto-popper" as we've named it, or either a small motor to control the ejector).

We will hopefully have a total cost and list of hardware soon.  For now, were gonna run it off my house server probably.

[Jenne]

Yeah, so does mine.  But that only helps if the other retards living with you actually use it rather than just turning the dial up.

[Arsenal 10]

Well, I talked to them, and current theory is to make the toaster a little taller, and place a laser thermometer near the top.  When the button is pulled down to pull the bread into position, the thermometer will check the temperate for a split second, send the reading to an attached computer, and that will then adjust the timining/heat for that temperature to make perfect toast.

You should be able to monitor the temp throughout the cooking process the same way to determine optimal doneness. 

I was thinking about that, but because we don't want to dismantle the toaster too much we won't be able to put a sensor inside (at least, in the prototype).

Right now, the current idea is to get an old toaster, and set it to highest heat, then lock it in that position.  Then, we will measure how long it takes for various temperatures of toast to get to "optimum",  Finally, we'll install a "dimmer" to control the amount of electricity the toaster receives.  Once thats setup, we'll attach an IR sensor to the top of the toast, it will get the temperature of the toast, and feed it to the computer which will setup the cycle of how much power/how long for the toast, then it will cut the power and you just have to push the release to bring the toast up (working on a way to either over-ride the "auto-tonicper" as we've named it, or either a small motor to control the ejector).

We will hopefully have a total cost and list of hardware soon.  For now, were gonna run it off my house server probably.

That is awesome.

My toaster has a "frozen" button you press.. so this doesn't happen...

Yeah, so does mine.  But that only helps if the other retards living with you actually use it rather than just turning the dial up.

Indeed.

[Buck Turgidson]

Neither the IR or Laser will work as they will be measuring the ambient air temp - you need a probe.  Probably easier to mod a toaster oven for the task.

You could always get another toaster, and dedicate it to fresh bread.  That can be done for 25$.

[Kenneth Kenstar]

My toaster has a "frozen" button you press.. so this doesn't happen...

wtf

Why would you need a toaster that freezes bread

[Arsenal 10]

My toaster has a "frozen" button you press.. so this doesn't happen...

wtf

Why would you need a toaster that freezes bread

[Pterrydactyl]

We want to avoid a probe becuase we don't want the bread to have to touch the sensor, after all, it could be damaging if the sensor gets pushed into the bread and the person pushes the bread down.

[Jenne]

Neither the IR or Laser will work as they will be measuring the ambient air temp - you need a probe.  Probably easier to mod a toaster oven for the task.

You could always get another toaster, and dedicate it to fresh bread.  That can be done for 25$.

The laser will be able to check surface temp. 

[Buck Turgidson]

Wouldn't the laser have to blast though a boundary layer of hot air for the second set of toast?  I agree it would work for the first, but it's the scod I am worried about.

That said, if you really want to go space-age, how about an auto-loader that is attached to the freezer, and a separate one attached to a bread-box for fresh?  Combined with a simple timer, as well as Bluetooth, it would obsolete the need to actually touch the toaster to get the process started, and you could get the process started while you are dressing.  Of course, you would need a scheduling software, and a touch sensor to confirm if there is already toast in the chamber, and if activated by Bluetooth, you would need to advise if there is already a WIP.

The whole thing should be solar or wind-powered - it is ideal for this, as you only really use the system once or twice per day, then it can recharge all day long.

Or invent a new kind of toaster - the electrical arc toaster, that doesn't use a timer or a thermometer to check if it's done, but electrical resistance instead...

[Kenneth Kenstar]

I don't even have a toaster

[Buck Turgidson]

Me neither.  The last one I had was a contraption as described above that I built in the late eighties when I lived in Chernobyl.  I sold it to my neighbor when I left because it was too big for ocean transportation, and I never heard from him after that...