Random Insanity Alliance Forum, Mark V
Cactuar Zone => Random lnsanity => Topic started by: Grand Poobah Marx on June 03, 2008, 09:33:12 pm
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Okay people, this is exceedingly simple: make a post or link me to a post that you believe is worthy of my sigging.
Then I'll pick a grand quote (if worthy) and sig it. The winnner will be awarded $3m.
GOGOGOGOGOGGOGO1
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Whichever suits your fancy. Wait, that's not quite right... Is it? Bah, I can't remember how that stupid phrase went. Choose whichever. Or choose all of them. Maybe don't choose all of them.
[!--quoteo(post=0:date=:name=George Carlin)--][div class=\'quotetop\']QUOTE (George Carlin)[div class=\'quotemain\'][!--quotec--]Imagine meeting your maker and finding out it's Frito-Lay.
If you love someone, set them free; if they comes home, set them on fire.
If a man smiles all the time he's probably selling something that doesn't work.
If lobsters looked like puppies, people could never drop them in boiling water while they're still alive. But instead, they look like science fiction monsters, so it's OK. Restaurants that allow patrons to select live lobsters from a tank should be made to paint names on their shells: "Happy," "Baby Doll," Junior." I defy anyone to drop a living thing named "Happy" in rapidly boiling water.
I feel sorry for homeless gay people; they have no closet to come out of. In fact, I imagine if you were gay and homeless, you'd probably be glad just to have a closet.
If you take the corn off the cob, not only do you have corn-off-the-cob, you also have cobs-out-from-inside-the-corn.
Rarely does a loose woman have a tight pussy.
Kilometers are shorter than miles. Save gas, take your next trip in kilometers.
Those nicotine patches seem to work pretty well, but I understand it's kind of hard to keep 'em lit.
Those who dance are considered insane by those who can't hear the music.
I have as much authority as the pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it.
You can't fight City Hall, but you can goddamn sure blow it up.
There ought to be at least one round state.
For a long time it was all right for a woman to keep a diary, but it sounded too fruity for men. So they changed it to journal. Now sensitive men can set down their thoughts without appearing too sensitive.
Sometimes the label on the can says "fancy peas." Then, you get 'em home and they're really rather ordinary. Nothing fancy about 'em at all. Maybe if they had little bullfight paintings on them, they would be fancy. But as is...
If the shoe fits, get another one just like it.
Eventually, nature will produce a species that can play the piano better than we can.
You know why I stopped eating processed foods? I began to picture the people who might be processing them.
When you buy a six-foot dildo, and call it a marital aid, you are stretching not just the anatomy, but also the limits of credibility.
At a formal dinner party, the person nearest death should always be seated closest to the bathroom.
THINGS YOU DON'T WANT TO HEAR: "Jeff? We're going to have to break your skull again and reset it. Okey? It's way out of line. It looks really strange. But we won't do it until we've opened up that incision and put some more fire ants inside of you. OK?"
The nicest thing about a plane crashing at an air show is that they always have good video of the actual crash.
When ideas are concerned, America can be counted on to do one of two things: take a good idea and run it completely into the ground, or take a bad idea and run it completely into the ground.
If we could just find out who's in charge, we could kill him.
You can lead a gift horse to water in the middle of the stream, but you can't look him in the mouth and make him drink.
Deep Throat: Think about it. There is actually an important figure in American history who is named for a blow-job movie. How do grade-school teachers handle this?
I'll bet there aren't too many people hooked on crack who can play the bagpipes.
THINGS YOU NEVER HEAR: "Please stop sucking my dick or I'll call the police."
The reason they call it the American Dream is because you have to be asleep to believe it.
Russia actually has something called vodka riots.
I saw a picture of the inventor of the hydrogen bomb, Edwin Teller, wearing a tie clip. Why would the man who invented a bomb that destroys everything for fifty miles be concerned about whether or not his tie was straight?
Which is more immoral? Killing two 100-pound people or killing one 300-pound person?
A lot of people who keep a gun at home for safety are the same ones who refuse to wear a seat belt.
I hope they do clone the dinosaurs, and they come back just in time for the ozone layer to disappear and wipe those ugly motherfuckers out again.[/quote]
There's a LOT more, but I'm too lazy to type all of them. Maybe later.
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Whichever suits your fancy. Wait, that's not quite right... Is it? Bah, I can't remember how that stupid phrase went. Choose whichever. Or choose all of them. Maybe don't choose all of them.
[!--quoteo(post=0:date=:name=George Carlin)--][div class=\'quotetop\']QUOTE (George Carlin)[div class=\'quotemain\'][!--quotec--]Imagine meeting your maker and finding out it's Frito-Lay.
If you love someone, set them free; if they comes home, set them on fire.
If a man smiles all the time he's probably selling something that doesn't work.
If lobsters looked like puppies, people could never drop them in boiling water while they're still alive. But instead, they look like science fiction monsters, so it's OK. Restaurants that allow patrons to select live lobsters from a tank should be made to paint names on their shells: "Happy," "Baby Doll," Junior." I defy anyone to drop a living thing named "Happy" in rapidly boiling water.
I feel sorry for homeless gay people; they have no closet to come out of. In fact, I imagine if you were gay and homeless, you'd probably be glad just to have a closet.
If you take the corn off the cob, not only do you have corn-off-the-cob, you also have cobs-out-from-inside-the-corn.
Rarely does a loose woman have a tight pussy.
Kilometers are shorter than miles. Save gas, take your next trip in kilometers.
Those nicotine patches seem to work pretty well, but I understand it's kind of hard to keep 'em lit.
Those who dance are considered insane by those who can't hear the music.
I have as much authority as the tonice, I just don't have as many people who believe it.
You can't fight City Hall, but you can goddamn sure blow it up.
There ought to be at least one round state.
For a long time it was all right for a woman to keep a diary, but it sounded too fruity for men. So they changed it to journal. Now sensitive men can set down their thoughts without appearing too sensitive.
Sometimes the label on the can says "fancy peas." Then, you get 'em home and they're really rather ordinary. Nothing fancy about 'em at all. Maybe if they had little oxfight paintings on them, they would be fancy. But as is...
If the shoe fits, get another one just like it.
Eventually, nature will produce a species that can play the piano better than we can.
You know why I stopped eating processed foods? I began to picture the people who might be processing them.
When you buy a six-foot dildo, and call it a marital aid, you are stretching not just the anatomy, but also the limits of credibility.
At a formal dinner party, the person nearest death should always be seated closest to the bathroom.
THINGS YOU DON'T WANT TO HEAR: "Jeff? We're going to have to break your skull again and reset it. Okey? It's way out of line. It looks really strange. But we won't do it until we've opened up that incision and put some more fire ants inside of you. OK?"
The nicest thing about a plane crashing at an air show is that they always have good video of the actual crash.
When ideas are concerned, America can be counted on to do one of two things: take a good idea and run it completely into the ground, or take a bad idea and run it completely into the ground.
If we could just find out who's in charge, we could kill him.
You can lead a gift horse to water in the middle of the stream, but you can't look him in the mouth and make him drink.
Deep Throat: Think about it. There is actually an important figure in American history who is named for a blow-job movie. How do grade-school teachers handle this?
I'll bet there aren't too many people hooked on crack who can play the bagpipes.
THINGS YOU NEVER HEAR: "Please stop sucking my dick or I'll call the police."
The reason they call it the American Dream is because you have to be asleep to believe it.
Russia actually has something called vodka riots.
I saw a picture of the inventor of the hydrogen bomb, Edwin Teller, wearing a tie clip. Why would the man who invented a bomb that destroys everything for fifty miles be concerned about whether or not his tie was straight?
Which is more immoral? Killing two 100-pound people or killing one 300-pound person?
A lot of people who keep a gun at home for safety are the same ones who refuse to wear a seat belt.
I hope they do clone the dinosaurs, and they come back just in time for the ozone layer to disappear and wipe those ugly motherfuckers out again.
There's a LOT more, but I'm too lazy to type all of them. Maybe later.
[/quote]
no u
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Its as easy as clubing a retarded babby seal in a cage
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This one was one of my favorite IRC...conversations.
* Mesa never recalls IS being awesome in ONOS =P
<Ppaps> Hahahah
<IronSoldier820[CSN]> Because you were too busy sucking to notice the awesome
<IronSoldier820[CSN]> Now back on your knees
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Okay people, this is exceedingly simple: make a post or link me to a post that you believe is worthy of my sigging.
Then I'll pick a grand quote (if worthy) and sig it. The winnner will be awarded $3m.
GOGOGOGOGOGGOGO1
You already have a good sig quote and sig image.
;>->
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Enemies you make are enemies you keep.
Enemies you threaten make armies.
Enemies you destroy make graves.
How easily men are corrupted, and how difficult it is to make them just.
Be more afraid of an army of sheep led by a wolf than an army of wolves led by a sheep.
Everyone lies. Even me.
A commander must be two men: To those he commands, he must be a saint. To his enemies, he must be a devil. The reverse is also true.
Men hold on to nothing like that they do not know.
Life is not fair. That doesn't mean you can't win.
Know where your sword is. Always.
The only box that can hold a secret is a coffin.
He who speaks with anger makes his anger heard, but his words forgotten.
Procrastination is the pastime of fools.
Injury is more quickly forgotten than insult.
Let fools read what fools write.
Only a learned woman can please a learned man.
How dearly we cling to pretty deceit.
No enemy is beneath notice.
What lies behind the throne is always greater than what sits in it.
A man in love, a man in hate: both are willing to believe anything to accomplish their cause.
Always be ready to wait.
Shinsei says "Forgive and forget." Why? So you can fool me again?
Learn the lessons of the past, for what has happened is happening. What has happened will happen. By understanding the past, you will learn how to act now and how to prepare for the future.
Need to defeat a Crane? Convince him a battle will ruffle his feathers.
Need to defeat a Lion? Study what his grandfather did.
Need to defeat a Phoenix? Make him fight.
Need to defeat a Crab? Trip him when he charges.
Patience and persistence can bring down the tallest tree.
A man divided by duty has not a single leg to stand on.
Never judge a man by instinct, only by his past.
Every man is equal in the privy.
Women learn to weep because husbands always assume it was their actions that caused the tears.
Appendix Two was a lie.
If you cannot kill a man, make him impotent.
Need to defeat a Dragon? Make him rely on another's trust.
Men are like trees - they die from the top.
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If lobsters looked like puppies, people could never drop them in boiling water while they're still alive. But instead, they look like science fiction monsters, so it's OK. Restaurants that allow patrons to select live lobsters from a tank should be made to paint names on their shells: "Happy," "Baby Doll," Junior." I defy anyone to drop a living thing named "Happy" in rapidly boiling water.
That's pretty good.
And thanks Flask, I'm glad you like them.
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If lobsters looked like puppies, people could never drop them in boiling water while they're still alive. But instead, they look like science fiction monsters, so it's OK. Restaurants that allow patrons to select live lobsters from a tank should be made to paint names on their shells: "Happy," "Baby Doll," Junior." I defy anyone to drop a living thing named "Happy" in rapidly boiling water.
That's pretty good.
And thanks Flask, I'm glad you like them.
I can just relate to both so well...
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So says Mr. Sir Henry Mother Fucker >_>
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If I see "Mr. Sir Henry Mother Fucker" one more fucking time... I can't be responsible for who does and doesn't get nuked...
(Not an entry )
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Read my sig Mr. Sir Henry Mother Fucker, the basement is filling with shit >_>