Random Insanity Alliance Forum, Mark V
Cactuar Zone => Random lnsanity => Topic started by: emperor abcd on May 25, 2007, 12:16:04 pm
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Greetings to everyone from your newest member.
My name is Emperor abcd proud leader for life of the country of Expedience. As a welcoming gift I've decided to give everyone a free puppy. Unfortunately I didn't think ahead and actually get puppies for all of you. So instead, on the way over I made some do it yourself puppy kits for each of you. Each kit includes.......
1 bag of Expedience brand puppy chow (perfect for bait)
1 cardboard box (now with extra cardboard)
1 stick
1 long piece of string
Simply put the puppy chow on the ground, put the box over it and prop it up with the stick, tie the string around the stick, and presto, you'll have a puppy in no time. Or some type of animal anyway. Maybe a small child. Or a drunk college student, well the point is you'll have something. Just remember to get it vaccinated. Especially if its a wild animal, or a college student.
In any event greetings to all, and Vive la RIA.
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PUPPIES!
YAY!
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OH MY GOD!!
YOU STOLE PATCHES!!
YOU BASTARD!!
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Do it yourself puppy kit incorporated is not liable for any puppies, wild animals, small children, small animals, wild children, or drunk college students that happen to be lost, stolen, go for a walk, or in any other way end up in the kit. Failure to watch your children/animals/frat brothers sufficiently to keep them out of the box constitutes acceptance of the terms set herein. In the event that you have failed to teach your child/pet/wild animal to be smart enough to not fall for the oldest trick in the book they are clearly better off being in a new environment. Requests to cease and desist, qestions, or complaints can be directed the the nearest black hole, where the temporal distortion will keep your message forever in a state of paradox being both destroyed inside the black hole, and at the same time hovering forever outside the event horizon. Or you may call our hotline at 1-800-pupp-kit, and receive very much the same treatment.
If you believe that your pet has been captured in error we advise calling its name repeatedly and hoping it comes to you.
The same practice should be used for children accidently captured.
In the event that your wild animal was accidently captured in the box, well then it wasn't really a wild animal, please see the section on accidental pet capture.
If you believe that your frat brother has been captured in error, you are obviously thinking too clearly and therefore have not had enough to drink, we advise making a run to the nearest source of alcohol as quickly as possible to rectify the situation.
Failure to use Do it yourself puppy kit in an appropriate manner not only voids its non-existent warranty, but due to its amazing simplicity also indicates that you probably should not breed. Please act accordingly.
Thank you for your purchase/use of/ victimization by Do it yourself puppy kit. Brought to you by the makers of other fine products such as Do it yourself whaling kit, Do it yourself cattle ranching, and do it yourself trash reclamation system.
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wall of legalese FTW
I did manage to catch something, I think it's a puppy. It has these neat markings. It looks like it's wearing a mask, and has stripes around it's tail.
Ahh, how cute, it trying to claw my face off.
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haha...
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wall of legalese FTW
I did manage to catch something, I think it's a puppy. It has these neat markings. It looks like it's wearing a mask, and has stripes around it's tail.
Ahh, how cute, it trying to claw my face off.
Name it Bandit! =D
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I like this guy.
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I like this guy.
Thanks, glad to be here. I'll try to make sure to contribute as much randomness to the RIA as possible.
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wall of legalese FTW
I did manage to catch something, I think it's a puppy. It has these neat markings. It looks like it's wearing a mask, and has stripes around it's tail.
Ahh, how cute, it trying to claw my face off.
Let me out!
Let me out!