Random Insanity Alliance Forum, Mark V
Cactuar Zone => Random lnsanity => Topic started by: wethepeople on September 27, 2007, 08:36:43 pm
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=/ I have a crush on a girl I've known but I don't know what to do. She's 16, turning 17. I'm 15, turning 16. Thats akward. I am Christian, and people in Christ. She's how I used to be, that should be enough info. She likes Religious music and if not that then soft, soft rock and occasional R&B (Go figure.) I like Metallica, Disturbed, Pantera, Slipknot (Thanks Loren.), and basically metal. Ozzy, Dio, etc. I do not flaunt my religion in listening tastes. She has a VERY strict family who keeps them from R movies etc etc. I do not.
But I like her. I like people based on who they are on the inside, I can read people like a book most of the time. And I /really/ like who this person is on the inside of the religious coating. Except I don't have the guts to do anything. =/ I don't even know if I should. There's a LOT of bad that could happen if I did anything, but there's also a bit of good I guess. I don't know what to do. Well... I do. But I don't know if I want to. I'm shy, very shy. Well I never used to be, but times changed me. I am reserved and pretty shy, masking my emotions with humor. You may or may not catch that. I'm afraid they think I'm a idiot cause how I act (Very sarcastic, jokes, etc.) And I don't know if its even worth it.
Unlike Damen, I have no pictures.
/vent over
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Don't know what to tell you man, except I feel for you.. =/
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Thanks Poobah. =/
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1. C-Zom, I technically have a girlfriend (ugh, I hate that term) who is 15 and I am 17. So don't feel too bad about that.
2. Music shouldn't make a difference.
3. Trust me, nothing good can come out of being shy. That's no way to get anywhere with anyone. What do you want to do, end up a miser like me? Please don't, it's not fun. Go on ahead, go cautiously, check on her feelings towards you in discreet methods, and over all, try, try, try. Show your character, and don't be ashamed of it, this is who you are, and you have to live with it the rest of your life. You may as well at least pretend to like it. If she likes it, yay, good for you, if she spurns it, put it behind you, and move on.
Also, is it necessary to change your avatar that much?
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Nothing to it, but to do it. Also, cocks.
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1. C-Zom, I technically have a girlfriend (ugh, I hate that term) who is 15 and I am 17. So don't feel too bad about that.
2. Music shouldn't make a difference.
3. Trust me, nothing good can come out of being shy. That's no way to get anywhere with anyone. What do you want to do, end up a miser like me? Please don't, it's not fun. Go on ahead, go cautiously, check on her feelings towards you in discreet methods, and over all, try, try, try. Show your character, and don't be ashamed of it, this is who you are, and you have to live with it the rest of your life. You may as well at least pretend to like it. If she likes it, yay, good for you, if she spurns it, put it behind you, and move on.
1: Except her parents rules are mondo weird. Their 17 year old daughter going out with a younger dude? I highly don't they would like it, even if we're only a year and a couple months apart.
2: It does when there isn't anything to talk about.
3: True. Last time I was myself though it didn't work out too well. But, I will give it one more go.. I guess.
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dude, just go for it, i've dated people way older than me (she was 17 i was 13/14 [we dated during and around my b-day] and it went fine for 3 months) and im an ugly bastard so, no matter who you are youve always got a chance if you think you can.
And worst that can happen is you get a no (wow, i should really take my own advice *is trying to grow enough balls to ask out one of the prettiest girls i know* I think she likes me also but still, auqh!)
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huggles c-zom
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Go for it. If you don't, then you're going to be just sitting there wondering whether or not she would say yes or not...You might as well do it. If she turns you down, then well, that happens. And about the parents...forget about them. If she really likes you, she'll stay with you whether her parents don't want her to or not.
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huggles master
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<_< Just going for it puts a lot more on line then a no. But thanks Vec.
-Hugs Nathan-
...-Counts money he got from his back pocket-
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im fking por lol.
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*spoons with nathan*
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Vector's right, the worst that could happen is a no. And trust me, I'm the most shy person IRL unless I know you or I'm bored. It's not so bad, just relax and play it down. You're lucky, you probably don't have 2 friends trying to set you up with people.
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Thats not the worst that could happen, trust me on that one. I could go, ask her do to something, but again thats pretty crazy. =/ I don't have the guts. And I'm not so much shy as I am reserved. Since I've known her for a long time a sudden burst of "Lets do something" would seem incredibally weird and out of character.
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Ask to go to the movies as friends? Or.. I don't know. I used to go over my friend John's house to play on his wii and play Madness Combat lol.
And, what could be the worst?
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Lawl. Except our two families don't like each other that much, a ton of crap happened that keeps my parents away from them all, except for me. I just go to the youthgroup. So dating her would be major weird for my family and theirs.
I'm sorta friends with her brother. He would be pissed. Etc.
I could ask her to go to a movie but... her family is weird about movies. The whole "I don't buy tickets for this movie cause it also supports the R rated movies in the theatre." is what they do.
BTW, this is not HER. Its her parents. She's normal, nice, and there's just something about her. She's no where near as conservative as her family is. But thats just the thing, her family is.
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I've been in... similar situations. Ones where it does seem you have a lot more to lose than a simple "no." I've found that, even if you do get rejected, you actually feel a hell of a lot better than if you don't ask at all. I've experienced all three situations before (Acceptance, rejection, not doing anything in the first place). The result you get from doing nothing is always the worst. "What if"s are a fucking bitch.
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True, Delta. What ifs suck balls, and thats a fact.
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Trust me on this. I went back-to-back "nothing" and "rejection" before I got to now. The rejection I actually didn't feel terribly bad about and got over it in about a week. Te girl I didn't ask, I wondered about for months before I moved on. Wondering if you screwed up your chances through inaction is much, much worse than finding out you really didn't have much of a chance to begin with.
Of course, finding out you do have a chance is best of all. ^_^
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NOT many girls would like me. <_< But, I'll give it a try somehow. Even though I'm shy as hell. But I'm not stupid, I'm not going to dick around and follow her or some second grade crap. I'll do my best. However, I still need to find the guts to do this. Its not going to be by tomorrow or something, then I'd be crazy.
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Tell us how it goes c-zom, I'm rooting for you!
edit: secks her from behind
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DO EET! Even if she does reject you, you can tell yourself, "At least I had the balls to ask her! FUCK YEAH, TESTICLES!"
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I kinda have similar situation. Theres no fucking family trouble or anything. But ive known the girl for a VERY long time, the majority of my life actually, and ive liked her for the majority of it. She is an awesome person, but we never do anything together. I find it weird that ive liked her for so long, but i cant help it. I have the balls to ask her out, but i dont have the balls to accept what will be coming from her.
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Same Greg, just add family troubles. >_> I've known her for 5 years.
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well somehow i seem to have had the balls to ask someone out (yay i took my own advice)
now i just wait and see what they say
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Good for you Vector. =D
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do as i do
though i really do hope she says yes, but if not then all that happens is i ask someone else to homecomming (though i would like to go with her because i really like her)
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I kinda have similar situation. Theres no fucking family trouble or anything. But ive known the girl for a VERY long time, the majority of my life actually, and ive liked her for the majority of it. She is an awesome person, but we never do anything together. I find it weird that ive liked her for so long, but i cant help it. I have the balls to ask her out, but i dont have the balls to accept what will be coming from her.
I find this a bit odd. It takes me a lot more effort to ask, but once I don't, the answer doesn't really bother me. I mean, I get very happy over a yes, but if I get a no, I'm just a bit relieved simply because I asked and don't have to wonder about it. I'm actually serious there, I've only ever felt better after receiving a no. (Granted, I feel even better from a yes, but I've never been really hurt by a no to the point where I wished I hadn't asked. I don't ever regret asking, but I have several occasions where I regret not doing it).
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I think I'm going to take Delta's approach. >_> Just ask. If its a yes it will be 1.2 seconds of happiness and an instant "Holy shit now what." following. If its a no it will be a smile, an "ok", and I won't have to worry about this damn thing anymore. >_>
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I think I'm going to take Delta's approach. >_> Just ask. If its a yes it will be 1.2 seconds of happiness and an instant "Holy shit now what." following. If its a no it will be a smile, an "ok", and I won't have to worry about this damn thing anymore. >_>
You just described every one of my own experiences to a tee.
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Last thing I need are the guts. >_> That however is solely up to me to get I guess.
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I think I'm going to take Delta's approach. >_> Just ask. If its a yes it will be 1.2 seconds of happiness and an instant "Holy shit now what." following. If its a no it will be a smile, an "ok", and I won't have to worry about this damn thing anymore. >_>
No, no, no. That's exactly what you don't want to do. If you ask a girl out, always have tentative plans in mind. It doesn't have to be anything elaborate, but at least a general date and a general idea to suggest. It can even be the entirely predictable first date of a movie that fri/sat night (although I'd recommend something more creative), just make sure you have something.
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I mean't holy shit as in what is family gonna think, getting to said location for date, etc. >_> Not as in I don't have a plan. I know what I'd do if I asked her out.
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Wethepeople...
I know your situation. I like two girls right now and... Well, I can't really elaborate on such a public forum, actually...
But yeah, know that the girl I like is more religious than that, and there are numerous reasons I can't date her.
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Religion blows in some occasions, don't it Shy? <_< Well... on most occasions.
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dude... do you realize what will happen if ace sees this topic?
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No?
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Religion blows in some occasions, don't it Shy? <_< Well... on most occasions.
Well, it depends. There are some things I like a lot about religion, and some things I don't...
The main thing is that it keeps people from experiencing things. I don't like the idea of someone's religion ruling their life...
But I do like the trips and stuff they go on, and they do stuff to help the community. They get kids into sports, they have shows at their church... It's a good place for a social gathering, even though organized religion kind of bugs me...
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Keeps them? Forces them is more like it Shy. Recently at our church someone said, "My boy just started talking about God. He's 5, but has a good head on his shoulders. He's accepted Christ." Everyone started smiling and some women cried, I laughed to myself. Brainwashing before they know which side of the diaper smells the worst FTW. How about the dress codes, keeping them from certain shows and movies, complete and total ignoring of history and math, etc. And my personal favorite, Evangelism. -Shudder- Religion should be a self matter. You accept God, or whoever and keep it to yourself and praise in your own way. Organized religion is no more religious than boot camp.
But as you said the trips are nice, shows at the church, etc. Those are harmless and enjoyable. Its the other crap that bugs the bajeezus out of me.
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Keeps them? Forces them is more like it Shy. Recently at our church someone said, "My boy just started talking about God. He's 5, but has a good head on his shoulders. He's accepted Christ." Everyone started smiling and some women cried, I laughed to myself. Brainwashing before they know which side of the diaper smells the worst FTW. How about the dress codes, keeping them from certain shows and movies, complete and total ignoring of history and math, etc. And my personal favorite, Evangelism. -Shudder- Religion should be a self matter. You accept God, or whoever and keep it to yourself and praise in your own way. Organized religion is no more religious than boot camp.
But as you said the trips are nice, shows at the church, etc. Those are harmless and enjoyable. Its the other crap that bugs the bajeezus out of me.
Wow... We share the same opinion then.
I've definitely had a lot of problems with my faith over the years... I don't even know if you can call me a Christian anymore.
My main beef is that I just can't see how someone can love God more than their children, or parents.
Even at the height of my faith, I would never be able to forsake them over God.
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I accepted Christ when I was 5.
<.<
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Christianity is a label. I believe in Christ, and I have my personal faith. No one but me knows why I have that faith, and I intend to keep it that way. Thats it. I hate organized religion, I hate denominations and all these craptastic rules they have and all that. And like you said people who would throw away their family for Christ should be shot in the head. Period.
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Thats your free will Damen. >_> This kid has never seen another view or side in his life, and probably thinks Christianity is the only religion--If he even understands what religion is.
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People shouldn't have to throw their families away for Christ. Christ does not want that.
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Nor do their family members. >_>
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Thats your free will Damen. >_> This kid has never seen another view or side in his life, and probably thinks Christianity is the only religion--If he even understands what religion is.
I've actually taken considerable time to study other religions and beliefs. I accepted Christ as my savior when I was 5, but I kept him as my savior because I truly believe.
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-Nod- I did not know Damen.
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I've come to the conclusion that Christianity is the only religion that truly makes sense to me. Not because of my studies, but because of other aspects that I will not go further into.
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I agree. My opinion was not swayed by the eight million Science vs Christianity lectures I've seen, nor should it have been. Christianity is faith, not fact. There should be no assine debates about it. I shall go no further.
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A Christian that feels the need to try and prove their religion by facts and figures is not a True Christian, but instead a hardly-faithful man looking for an argument.
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I agree. "Faith is eternal."
Not facts, faith.
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But seriously, lets get back to topic. >_> I'll make a religion topic if we want a religious debate, this one is about chicks.
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This is the internet, arguments about religion are never supposed to end in mutual respect for each others' opinions.
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But seriously, lets get back to topic. >_> I'll make a religion topic if we want a religious debate, this one is about chicks.
Chicks are good.
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You speak of her religious views as a fault, C-Zom. How religious someone is does not matter if there is a true spark there.
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To me they are. You can be religious then you can be a jesus freak. Imagine when what they wear is conservative, what they listen to is religious, what they draw and write is both conservative and religious, etc. She would be on the bottom of my very, very short list of girls I like IF NOT for a side of her I can tell is there. I like her, not so much her actions or overwhelming beliefs.
I don't like her religious side. She's fine anywhere else.
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If you don't like her actions and beliefs, uh, what else is there?
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>_> Thats for me to know.
Nub.
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Tits. Got it.
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XD
No. I'm actually more biased towards not liking her then I should seem. She is pretty religious but not that bad. It should be no problem in the long run since I used to be like her with religion.
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To me they are. You can be religious then you can be a jesus freak. Imagine when what they wear is conservative, what they listen to is religious, what they draw and write is both conservative and religious, etc. She would be on the bottom of my very, very short list of girls I like IF NOT for a side of her I can tell is there. I like her, not so much her actions or overwhelming beliefs.
I don't like her religious side. She's fine anywhere else.
>_> You seem a lot less tolerant than before.
...The girl I like's MSN nickname used to be "~Jesus Freak~"
>.>
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>_> I've changed alot Damen. I'm not as tolerant as I used to be.
You serious? >_>
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One hundred percent serious.
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Hm. Well, I'm not THAT intolerant. >_> If someone's MSN name is anything I normally don't give a shit, it matters not.
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There's nothing wrong with a youthful religious person, C-Zom.
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Damen, please. <_< Don't judge my beliefs, I have them for a reason. She isn't religious, I would probably even say she doesn't have a choice. She lives in such a strict family.
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>_> I was being sarcastic.
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<_< Good.
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crap, i got a no ;_;
ahh well, as has been said, better than not knowing
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Holy crap, nice Vector. Nice for asking that is. @_@ -High five- Sorry it was a no though, but that was dedicated. you post you're gonna do it and you don't let us down, that takes courage.
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i said i was going to do it after i did...heh
but oh well, live and learn
and if you dont learn than at least have fun
well, at this time i must do 2 things
1. find another date for homecomming
2.keep having fun cause in the end, lifes all a big joke
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Whoops, by bad.
You gotta find a date dude, shouldn't be too hard for you. =P
Life isn't a joke, but it sure seems like it is at times.
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I'll find a date, i know someone who likes me, they are really nice and fun to be with. not hot but, as odd as it may sound i really dont care (i've dated way too many hot/shallow girls for a life time) and also she is a year older
and if that does not work then i dont know but i'll figure out someone though, it is hard for me. while it may not seem so becase i force my self to change this, i am kinda shy (flask probley will say this is ox but i've known him since before i could read) so its hard but i still do it
and life is a joke to me, no matter how well you do, in the end you still get the shaft cause you die and lose everything so no matter what it is i just try to laugh it off
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Yeah, you'll find someone. And I agree, I do not care for model like girls. =/ I like cute girls, not hot girls.
Everyone is shy in some way.
You die and lose everything, correct. >_>
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no you missunder stood me, I really dont care how they look, well not freakish but i dont care cute, hot, pretty. not for me anymore, im just going to date people i like for who they are, not how they look
and yes, since we all die, make fun of life while you go is what i think
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Yeah, I worded myself wrong. I prefer cute over hot, but when it comes down to it I prefer personality like you.
I say make fun IN life, not of life.Have as much fun as you can. Its your life, live it like you want to live it.
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see i dont care cute, hot or just anything. just want personality
and i like to make fun of life, i have an.....odd life, so much to make fun of
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Yeah, I agree.
Heh, everyones life is always different. I know mine sure is. =P
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i have a question for you c-zom.
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dude... do you realize what will happen if ace sees this topic?
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No
she'll be like, "Oh you got to talk to her! do it! I know its hard but you got to do it! ya da ya da ya da."
she won't let you rest until you do something
and it is not that hard to talk to her is it i mean i lik one of my best friends
frag i sat at her lunch table with a bunch of other girls
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^^ouch, how did you do that?
also c-zom, just do it. I did it and im still here after rejection. The worst thing is putting it off because then you'll convince yourself the she really likes or dislikes you and if you ever get around to asking and it turns out she odes not like you, it will really mess with your mind
vector speeks from experience sadley
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Do it. You know you have to and that Delta is completely right. All thats left is to just do it. Don't think, think will lead to procrastinating which will lead nowhere. Just. Do. It.
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Alright, I'll do it. >_> If it goes wrong its all your asses.
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Alright, I'll do it. >_> If it goes wrong its all your asses.
I'm an ass anyway.
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you can blame vector,
because i dont care how crappy life gets, i always smile (ask flask, it's kinda creepy really)
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XD
Man, I just need to get my confidence up to do this. >_> It will be a very big leap, and will start a brand new chapter rather quickly. I really can't see her saying no, but then again don't get my hopes up.
-Is nervous as hell-
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Don't even think of confidence. Otherwise you might think you lack it and simply take that as an excuse to not do it. In fact, what did I say about thinking?
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I could add a communistic quote I know to this: "There is no need to think, the Emperor thinks for you."
I won't think about it, it will just tonic out and God knows what her reaction will be. Most likely shocked. >_>
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ok just call and ask now, if you cant call do it as soon as possible
dont make me blow your nation up >_>
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I don't have her number. I see her Thursday. >_> You know there's a 95% chance I'm going to chicken out. Unless I truly screw all worries and just do it.
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just do it, if there is one thing that you should trust me about its dating,
i have a bit more experience than i would like on the subject
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What do I say? How do I say it? She's always around her friends, and my friends always go wherever I go. Do I grow some bawls and just ask?
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tell your friends wat your going to do and ask for some space (this also makes it really hard to back down) then ask if you can talk to her for a second
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Holy crap...
You're a genius, Vector. If I tell them (My friends know I like her.) they'll be forced to cheer me on, and I CAN'T back down. =D
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as i said, way too much experience
ive use this before, works great unless friends are ass holes (ie: go tell the girl before you get to talk to her, have had a problem with this before)
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Alright. So, thus becomes Operation C-zom Gets Shotdown.
>_>; It'll be worth a shot, and I can finally put this behind me. -Stretches- Come Thursday I'll have an answer hopefully.
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good luck mate, my yours be better than mine
and your time dating, may that be MUCH better than mine
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Hehe, thanks Vec. =D
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scratch that
may your time dating in no way (cept involving girls) resemble mine >_>
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Heh, thanks man. >_> Hopefully it will go good... if she says yes. I still don't know what I'm gonna tell my parents, or her, or myself. But I'm going to ask her.
Y'know I have $20 riding on this thing? My best friend bet me I couldn't do it. I'll prove him wrong. <_<
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i recomend telling your parents right when you start dating,
i didnt tell mine till just a few months ago and "the talk" was longer and aquward because i had been dating for a while
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i recomend telling your parents right when you start dating,
i didnt tell mine till just a few months ago and "the talk" was longer and aquward because i had been dating for a while
^haha that, me too.
but yeah, when i went to ask a girl to our christmas dance last year, i told my friends if i didnt do it by 3:00, they could boot me in the nuts, BTW, smeeth was one of them, and as expected, to keep my boys intact, i asked the girl. Got rejected, but still asked
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Change of plans.
I'm thinking that a random out of /no where/ invitiation will really screw things up. Seriously, it IS a bit akward. Should I stick with the game plan or should I wait until an activity comes up? IE skating, some Christmas thing, Halloween festival, etc. Where I could try and hang out with her and then ask her instead of a complete shot in the dark.
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dont put it off any longer. if shess going to say yes, she'll say it regardless of whether it comes out of nowhere or if its at some event.
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C-Zom. Do it.
The force is with you, my son.
Now goeth, and see the peak of the great mountain!
FACE YOUR DESTINY!!!!
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Search your feelings, you know it to be true
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cocks
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Change of plans.
I'm thinking that a random out of /no where/ invitiation will really screw things up. Seriously, it IS a bit akward. Should I stick with the game plan or should I wait until an activity comes up? IE skating, some Christmas thing, Halloween festival, etc. Where I could try and hang out with her and then ask her instead of a complete shot in the dark.
You're thinking about changing plans? What the hell did I say about thinking?
cocks
I am in agreement with this post, thus, I am quoting it.
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well im asking the only other person i would go to homecomming with to homecomming tmaro,
hold me too this. if i dont say that i did it and what the answer was tmaro i want someone to send a cruise missle mah way
i wont fight back <_<
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You have my word Vector. >_> It will be done.
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Change of plans.
I'm thinking that a random out of /no where/ invitiation will really screw things up. Seriously, it IS a bit akward. Should I stick with the game plan or should I wait until an activity comes up? IE skating, some Christmas thing, Halloween festival, etc. Where I could try and hang out with her and then ask her instead of a complete shot in the dark.
This is you rationalizing putting it off. I have done this. This is not a good idea. Granted, I did finally ask the girl out, but only because she already knew I liked her and Shamed wouldn’t leave me the hell alone until I asked. If it wasn’t for those two things, I very seriously doubt I would have been able to break the cycle of “now isn’t the right time” that I was in. Don’t start down that path.
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>_> Alright, alright.
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Right when i was going to ask her to go to homecomming with me, she asked me
no missles at me, i did as i said
VICTORY!
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@__@
Holy crap, nice Vector!
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XD
Last year at Snowball, I was considering asking one girl, right up until she asked me. I was quite pleased with that.
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Lets hope I get lucky Thursday and the same happens to me. <_<
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if an ugly bastard like me can do et than YOU CAN DO ET!
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I'm sorry, but I'm uglier. >_>
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*doubts it*
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>_> Trust me, I am. I have no pics to prove it, but I've gotten the insults to prove it.
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and you think i havent?
well w/e i dont care
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I'm also...ok, no, I'm apparently not ugly. Finding that out was a blow to my low self-esteem, let me tell you.
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Yeah. Having mild acne as well as being ugly has not helped my esteem. <_< Which isn't even intact anymore.
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Just tell people it's from the irritation caused by having to wear a mask to protect your identity when fighting crime at night.
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Well, I've got a date with Cassie sometime, hopefully she'll get ungrounded soon...
Hmm...
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Cassie, I don't remember what she looks like. Maybe you could post pics to refresh my memory?
PICS. NAO.
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I'm not doing it. <_< I see her in a half hour, and there's no way in hell.
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do it, you know you want to
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I know I want to, but my gut tells me its not worth it. A lot of crap will hit the fan if I do. =/
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it is worth it because other wise it will rip you apart from the inside out. belive me, again i know from experience, unfortunatly
dont make the same mistakes i made
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I've faced worth things tearing me up, and survived. I will be able to forget about this.
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do it NAO!
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I've faced worth things tearing me up, and survived. I will be able to forget about this.
Yes, but even if you do survive, thats bad logic.
For example, thats like if someone told you to say no if you didn't want to be shot in the foot, but you just stand there and not saying anything. Sure, you'll survive, but why the hell go through the pain in the first place when all you have to do is speak up?
I thought I had a good comparison going with being shot in the foot, but I couldn't follow up with anything coherent.
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I give up. Its not worth it. She's not worth it. The whole place isn't worth it. And I'm not chickening out, its a fact. Being sucked into a complete religious whirlpool and changing who I am and crap... not gonna happen. She's TOO different than me. Not worth my time.
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This is so you chickening out. As someone who is incredibly good at rationalizing things to himself and also way too cynical to atually buy into said rationalizations, I can definitively say that that is what you are doing. You spoke way too much about this girl for you to actually lose interest. Even if you try and rationalize it away, it'll come back and bite you if you don't speak up.
Let me put it this way. If you get a "no" it's doubtful it will change much unless this girl is a complete bitch. If you get a "yes" well... fuck the rest of it. You don't get a lot of oppurtunities to be happy in life, so why bother settling for normalcy when one of them presents itself. Even if the rest of your life goes to hell... which would you rather hold on to? Her, or general crap?
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It IS going to be a no, Delta. Period. If she actually says yes if I ask, which I'm not going to, I would die of a heart attack just cause she said yes. Her only social outlet is church. Her family is mega Christian, she reads the Bible, its all based around God. The music she likes is religious or very conservative. I'm the polar opposite now. =/ My family doesn't like her family. My sisters don't like her at all. Its just.. not worth it. It will explode into a million pieces if I ever /ask/. Trust me Delta, its not worth it.
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You don't create a 17 page topic about someone you do not like. I put it to you that if your family does not like her to the point where it is affecting your decision...they should go fuck themselves. That's a little harsh, but I never let my family and their attitudes affect my decisions in this type of thing. If I did, I would never have asked out Kara. I am much happier for having done so.
As for religion. I can see how that might be sticky for you, however, that is not an excuse not to ask. Anticipation of failure becomes a self-fulfilling profecy when it ditates your actions. If you never attempt that which you think you may fail in, you will never succeed at it. You owe it to yourself to at last give it a shot before deciding it can't work. For all you know, you are throwing away your happiness on the off-hance that it won't make your life any better.
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My family's negative views are actually correct about her family, and the church. =/ Truthfully I like her, but I'm afraid of negative views and criticism, and the fake that it could turn into a total shitstorm. And I'm serious about that. What if's can kill a man. >_>
Is is a sticky situation cause I want /nothing/ to do with the extremist side of religion. Nothing. And her family is /very/ religious. Like to the point they might think something /completely/ crazy if I ask her out. Like I'm trying to turn her away or anything. They're that weird sometimes, trust me. I don't want to try it. I don't wanto to activate the infinite minefield. Its not worth it to me. I like her, sure, but its not worth what will happen. =/
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The worst that happens in that case s the relationship gets totally screwed over by family issues and you wind up more or less where you are now. You might not be better off, but you'll be able to move on with much less difficulty.
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That is true. I'd end up a couple rungs below where I am now, but it would make going to a youth group with ten people that much more akward. I don't know, I just don't feel it. I can picture myself doing things I want to do. I cannot picture myself asking someone out out of nowhere. =/ Honestly Delta I don't think its gonna happen. I can't even picture myself too happy if she did says yes, anyway.
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That is true. I'd end up a couple rungs below where I am now, but it would make going to a youth group with ten people that much more akward. I don't know, I just don't feel it. I can picture myself doing things I want to do. I cannot picture myself asking someone out out of nowhere. =/ Honestly Delta I don't think its gonna happen. I can't even picture myself too happy if she did says yes, anyway.
I rarely picture myself as actually being happy if they say yes becuase I get a lot of pent up anxiety about it beforehand, especially if there is some issue. (I've had familial issues as well, though not quite the same degree as this). Guess what. A yes has unfailingly made me happier. It's sort of like when you're bored and don't really want to do anything. If you sit down and make yourself do somehing, you'll like it. Even if you can't picture it, it'll still probably help you out. (Oh, and just the act of asking, rejection or no, makes the next time that much easier. Do it for the practice, if nothing else. It'll help a lot in the long run. You only get so many chances to be young. Might as well learn to ride the bike before you get old enough that training wheels are awkward).
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Dude, just go for it. You will gain nothing from just letting it go. You'll spend the rest of your life wondering 'what if' and feeling a hell of a lot worse than you do now. Trust me, I've been there. Quit making excuses and live life to the fullest dude.
Addendum: Do eeeeeeet
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It IS going to be a no, Delta. Period. If she actually says yes if I ask, which I'm not going to, I would die of a heart attack just cause she said yes. Her only social outlet is church. Her family is mega Christian, she reads the Bible, its all based around God. The music she likes is religious or very conservative. I'm the polar opposite now. =/ My family doesn't like her family. My sisters don't like her at all. Its just.. not worth it. It will explode into a million pieces if I ever /ask/. Trust me Delta, its not worth it.
well, when you put it that way i sympathize with your refusal to ask her. sounds like she shouldn't be allowed to reproduce in the first place. just imagine how awful it would be if you stayed together long enough that you had kids, and she instilled that crap in them. ugh you'd have to eat your own children to protect the world. what the hell am i talking about? w/e update time!
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I'd still call you a chicken.
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Three Points
1.) What your family thinks and what her family thinks has nothing to do with it
2.) Stop being a pansy
3.) Christians are people too, her being Christian does not completely bar her off
<Romeo and Juliet reference here where both families hate each other>
Yes, I'm aware that in the end, both of them died. However, on account of how much a pansy you're being, I want you to die. Then again, I want nearly everyone to die.
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1: Yes, it does. For me.
2: I'm not.
3: I'm Christian (I guess.) too, I just don't like extremist Christians like her family.
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1: Yes, it does. For me.
2: I'm not.
3: I'm Christian (I guess.) too, I just don't like extremist Christians like her family.
Bah. I've hated the families of girls I've liked. I've also asked out a girl was was friends with my sister...and a girl my sister thinks is an idiot. Honestly, family, yours and hers, should not be a deciding factor. That will cause you a lot of trouble down the line. ot being religiously active at all when I can help it, I've never really been in a situation where religion has affected my life in this particular way. Like you said, however, as long as everything else was fine, I wouldn't let it put me off. Everyone has flaws, and you'll be hard pressed to find someone without a quirky family. You've just ad the bad luck to wind up being a recovering alcoholic who likes the a girl whose family thinks Happy Hour is when you're awake. Just remember that you aren't asking out the family, and bring along a coke for yourself whenever you have to visit them.
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I'm sure you've gotten plenty of advice from others, but no way in hell I'm gonna look over 8 pages... but here's what I gotta say, and this is to basically everyone who's in a situation like yours:
If you like someone and don't tell them, why do you like them? Don't you want to make them feel special? Isn't the point of liking someone is so you can share happiness with them? Seriously, whether or not she likes you back, you'd feel a lot better knowing it then not... and be able to open your heart to other people/things as well. Don't dwell on something too long. It's not good for your health.
EDIT: I saw some bits of posts from others and all I gotta say is... don't make silly excuses. SERIOUSLY!!! If you like her, disregarding all your weirdo excuses, go ask her out. If your excuses are THAT important then you're better off not thinking about this girl. Another thing to keep in mind is, if you like someone, you should be able to accept her and the people/things around her. You don't have to like them, only respect them.