Random Insanity Alliance Forum, Mark V

Cactuar Zone => Random lnsanity => Topic started by: Joker on October 31, 2007, 01:16:14 pm

Title: Man who had sex with bike in court
Post by: Joker on October 31, 2007, 01:16:14 pm

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/main.jhtml.../26/nsex126.xml (http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/main.jhtml?xml=/news/2007/10/26/nsex126.xml)

Quote

A man has been placed on the sex offenders’ register after being caught trying to have sex with a bicycle.

Robert Stewart was discovered in his room by two cleaners at the Aberley House Hostel in Ayr, south west Scotland, in October last year.
    
On Wednesday Mr Stewart admitted to sexual breach of the peace in Ayr Sheriff Court, where depute fiscal Gail Davidson described how he had been found by the hostel workers.

She said: "They knocked on the door several times and there was no reply.

"They used a master key to unlock the door and they then observed the accused wearing only a white T-shirt, naked from the waist down.

"The accused was holding the bike and moving his hips back and forth as if to simulate sex."

Both witnesses, who were extremely shocked, notified the hotel manager, who in turn alerted the police.

Mr Stewart was placed on the sex offenders’ register but his sentence was deferred until next month.

He is not the first man to be convicted of a sexual offence involving an inanimate object, however.

Karl Watkins, an electrician, was jailed for having sex with pavements in Redditch, Worcs, in 1993.

I must say, I agree with the court's decision. I mean, you can't just have guys going around shagging unconsenting, presumably underage bicycles, can you? If you don't stop this kind of thing now, before you know it, people are going to be sticking their wangs up their cars' tailpipes, and there'll be nothing society can do about it but look on in disgust and make comments about pencils and mine shafts.

Title: Man who had sex with bike in court
Post by: wethepeople on October 31, 2007, 01:52:32 pm

A polish assassin was told to blow up a guy's car while he was in it. He burnt his lips on the tailpipe.

Title: Man who had sex with bike in court
Post by: IronSoldier820 on October 31, 2007, 04:16:20 pm

Sexing the pavement, hehe.

Title: Man who had sex with bike in court
Post by: smeeth on October 31, 2007, 04:44:31 pm

Quote from: wethepeople

A polish assassin was told to blow up a guy's car while he was in it. He burnt his lips on the tailpipe.

Hahah polish joke.