The RIA Corrupt A Wish Foundation

[Crazyman93]

Granted, they're all underage except one, who's an assassin that wants to kill you.

I wish I could truly see.

[Viper6525D]

Granted, but all you can see is images of all the worst possible ways you can die.

I wish the Ria has its own Flying Cart of Death.

[Electric Mango]

Granted, but you're tied to the chair and the three naked ladies are your mom, your grandma, and her bingo partner.  As they lock the door behind them, you hear them say, "it's gonna be a long night baby".

I wish I had the speed of a cheetah, and strength of the grizzly bear.

[Echorion]

granted, but you have the fertility of granite

I wish I had faster internet

[Crazyman93]

Granted, but you have a slower computer. And penis.

I wish... Biscuits

[Electric Mango]

Granted, you get showered in biscuits, the bad news, they're limp biscuits.

I wish my job was to punch babies.

[cutieelly]

Granted, you get showered in biscuits, the bad news, they're limp biscuits.

I wish my job was to punch babies.

Granted, then the babies grow up, start a gang, beat you up and throw you into a dumpster.

I wish that I knew what to wish for.

[Necrosis]

Granted, then the babies grow up, start a gang, beat you up and throw you into a dumpster.

I wish that I knew what to wish for.

Granted, You now wish you didn't.


I wish I had a fuchsia named after me.

[Jenne]

Granted.  (it seems ghey enough that just being granted is a corruption in itself)

I wish that when I let my hair grow out, it grows only to the exact length it needs to be for the perfect hair cut and the stops.

[Crazyman93]

Granted, but hair in other places keeps growing and strangles you.

I wish these n00bs would be less.... n00by.

[Rorick]

Granted, but now everyone else is more n00by.

I wish for infinity.

[Crazyman93]

Granted, but it makes you see how insignificant you are and your head assplodes.

I wish the cake was real.

[Viper6525D]

Granted, but now pie is a lie, and we all kill you for causing it!

I wish I knew the last number in Pi.

[Electric Mango]

Granted, but the more you get to know it, the more you realize what an asshole he really is and you now you wish you never would have met that prick number.

I wish I had a pillow case full of puppy ears.

[Rorick]

Granted, but the puppies who's ears were used in the pillow attack you and give you rabies.

I wish that cake wouldn't be lie, and that it wouldn't affect pie in any way.

[Crazyman93]

Granted, but it's a rock cake. Literally.

I wish I could eat anything and not be affected.

[Rorick]

Granted, but because you don't absorb the calories, nutrients, and water in foods and drinks, you die of starvation, dehydration, malnutrition, and various other disease, such as scurvy, from lack of the proper nutrients your body needs.


I wish Obama would leave office already.

[Crazyman93]

Granted, then someone even worse takes his place and turns us into a Red state.

I wish I could eat anything without being affected and still get the vital nutrients from the item

[Rorick]

Granted, but now all food tastes bland to you, and die of starvation because you refused to eat bland food.

I wish the US wasn't going to the Commies.

[Crazyman93]

Granted it's going to facists.

I wish for a woman.