So I was taking my girlfriend through Urban Outfitters for her birthday (You stop reading yet?[inb4quotingthisandsayingyes]) and she is looking through clothes and then (being the nerd she is) finds some books and stuff and starts going through them. After she picks a couple of funny books she finds "Living with a huge penis." and says that she's buying it for me. I say thanks and 3 hours later (like 10 minutes) she finally stops looking at books to buy and we go to the counter. The lady who was going to point at which register is open for us looks at the top book on the stack my girlfriend is holding, picks it up, and looks at it, then looks at me, and gives me a
face
She then said "You know, I saw this guy once that had pants with three legs in it." and girlfriend says "Oh, it's totally
my penis that's big." I could tell she noticed that this hispanic girl was checking me out and felt threatened. I then checked up on my pants and there just so happened to be a proper bulge going halfway down my thigh, whereas my penis isn't actually that long, especially flaccid, but who knows, Im carrying a book that has a man with 3 legs on the cover. Actually, even better, my girlfriend is, with a smile on her face. The cashier pays no mind to the big penis book. My girlfriend then realized she just bought 100$ in books, and pays anyway.
According to the book, I have "OMG" or "oversized male genitalia" as far as length and
just above average in girth. The book is a disappointment really. It's all sarcasm about how horrible it is to have a 3rd leg and how you get teased and such, and how people with "OMG" are envious of tiny penises.
Topic: A short Story (Read 907 times)
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