Important findings

[cctmsp13]

For a while moth has had the message "Have you heard the news? The DEAD walk." under his avatar, burritos us to ponder it's meaning.  Working together with the best minds in the RIA (who are available in IRC at 3AM) We have discovered the answer.

For long we have been inspired by Moth's tireless work for the RIA.  For a long time we though he was just hard working, been now we have discovered the truth.  Moth is infact tireless, for he is a ... ZOMBIE.

Yes, together Vintus and I have determined the RIA's leader, is a member of the walking dead.

Now some of you may object, "I've seen Moth say he's tired, and log off".  Ahh, you have been trapped in his clever ruse.  Moth does indeed log-off, but not to sleep, but instead to feast upon the brains of the enemies of the RIA (and probably some stray passerby, I'm sure).

After discovering this truth, I would like to be the first to say...

HAIL MOTH, undead leader of the RIA!

[Vintus]

Shocking!

Most of the RIA realizes that Moth is a virgin. But...why? Of course, someone like Moth should have all the girlies, should he not? He should be having a different girl in his bed every night, but he does not. He's a bigger virgin than I am, and I'm swearing off sex for several years.

How is this? I have found it out at last.

As one of the shambling minions of Satan, you have no genitals, and therefore, can't have teh secks.

He left us hints along the way. The biggest one is just below his avatar, as my colleague cctmsp13 has found. He's also a gigantic virgin, when he shouldn't be.

And his favorite emoticon? "@_@". Clearly the blank stare of an undead monster.

And his "Temple of Moth"? Clearly an attempt to get us to follow his master. Whoever it was that raised him from the dead. We shall be worshiping his demon overlord within weeks.

[cctmsp13]

As one of the shambling minions of Satan, you have no genitals, and therefore, can't have teh secks.

Here we have a slight disagreement, the issue is the zombie's natural lack of circulation, not lack of the proper parts.

[Vintus]

As one of the shambling minions of Satan, you have no genitals, and therefore, can't have teh secks.

Here we have a slight disagreement, the issue is the zombie's natural lack of circulation, not lack of the proper parts.

Ah, but it usually rots off in males.

It's called a "boner" but it isn't a bone.

I suppose he might be fresh from the graveyard and have a zombie penis. In that case, you're correct in your assumption. Zombie penis is perma-ED.

[Arthur Blair]

Wow.

You know, I have often seen some droplets of blood escape moth's mouth, but I always just assumed he was terminally ill.


In a way, I guess he was...  

[Vintus]

<Vintus[RIA]> I wonder when Moth died
<Vintus[RIA]> and who ressurected him?
<Vintus[RIA]> and HOW did he die?
<cctmsp13[RIA]> maybe someday we'll know the answers
<Vintus[RIA]> Someday is too long away
<Vintus[RIA]> someday we will be slaves to Moth's master
<Vintus[RIA]> we must do something now
<Vintus[RIA]> I'll get Squee on it immediately
<cctmsp13[RIA]> we must find out the true identity of Moth's master
<cctmsp13[RIA]> who does moth serve
<Vintus[RIA]> who does Moth take orders from in the RIA?
<Vintus[RIA]> he's leader FFS
<Vintus[RIA]> or maybe...there's someone outside of the RIA
<cctmsp13[RIA]> indeed...
<Vintus[RIA]> it all makes sense now
<Vintus[RIA]> yes...
<Vintus[RIA]> I know who Moth's master is
<MarthurLutherKingJr> >_>
<cctmsp13[RIA]> GUARD, the green civil war,
<cctmsp13[RIA]> all the pieces fall in place
<Vintus[RIA]> they spend all day together yet rarely speak with each other, because they both know Moth will be entranced the moment their eyes meet
<cctmsp13[RIA]> Moth's master is ...
<Vintus[RIA]> there is one person in #RIA that is not a member, that spends as much time in here as possible
<Vintus[RIA]> giving orders to Moth, I presume
<Vintus[RIA]> Moth's master is
<Vintus[RIA]> Loren
<Vintus[RIA]> "Stalker" indeed
<cctmsp13[RIA]> no, moth's master is Crazyisraelie
<Vintus[RIA]> gasp!?
<MarthurLutherKingJr> loren has that necromancer look sometimes
<MarthurLutherKingJr> pale
<MarthurLutherKingJr> and stuff
<MarthurLutherKingJr> a bit gaunt
<Vintus[RIA]> it might be both of them
<cctmsp13[RIA]> hmm, well, it's one of those two
<Vintus[RIA]> no, wait, Crazy's gay
<Vintus[RIA]> why would Crazy be Moth's master?
<MarthurLutherKingJr> crazy doesn't look necromantic at all
<Vintus[RIA]> he looks like a spic
<MarthurLutherKingJr> ya
<MarthurLutherKingJr> a gay one
<Vintus[RIA]> yeah
<cctmsp13[RIA]> both jewish - can give moth orders at their secret Jewish meetings
<Vintus[RIA]> I'm Jewish!
<Vintus[RIA]>
<Vintus[RIA]> Maybe I'm Moth's master!?
<MarthurLutherKingJr> wait
<MarthurLutherKingJr> since moth is jewish
<MarthurLutherKingJr> is he a zombie or some kind of golem?
<Vintus[RIA]> Moth's Jewish!?
<cctmsp13[RIA]> Is it a requirement now for the co-leader to be Jewish...
<Vintus[RIA]> WHO ELSE IS JEWISH IN THIS ALLINACE?
<MarthurLutherKingJr> has anyone checked to see if he's... MADE OF CLAY?
<Vintus[RIA]> ZOMG!
<Vintus[RIA]> I will be logging this conversation and posting it in our shocking finds thread
<Vintus[RIA]> go on, the pieces are coming together
<Vintus[RIA]> the picture is forming
<MarthurLutherKingJr> I mean it would make perfect sense
<MarthurLutherKingJr> he fits the golem profile perfectly
<MarthurLutherKingJr> well
<MarthurLutherKingJr> he does if I imaginatively fit in some divine intervention and a clay body in his unknown past
<MarthurLutherKingJr> UNKNOWN PAST
<Vintus[RIA]> !!
<cctmsp13[RIA]> Arthur, we're RIAers
<cctmsp13[RIA]> no conspiracy is too vast for us to ponder
<Vintus[RIA]> but he leaves us clues that lead to him being a zombie
<Vintus[RIA]> maybe...HE'S A ZOMBIE GOLEM
<Vintus[RIA]> OR A GOLEM ZOMBIE
<Vintus[RIA]> and what is the Temple of Moth for!? I have found myself with that tag more than once, and not of my own free will
<Vintus[RIA]> what could he be planning!?
<MarthurLutherKingJr> HE COULD'VE BEEN A GOLEM THAT DIED AND THEN LOREN FOUND THE GOLEM BODY AND RESSURECTED IT AS A ZOMBIE
<MarthurLutherKingJr> NOW THE QUESTION REMAINS
<MarthurLutherKingJr> WHO REALLY CONTROLS MOTH?
<Vintus[RIA]> KENNY
<MarthurLutherKingJr> CRAZY (THE RABBI) OR LOREN (THE NECROMANCER)?
<Vintus[RIA]> IT'S KENNY
<Vintus[RIA]> He has the power of an INTERNET GOD
<MarthurLutherKingJr> that's where the temple reference comes in
<Vintus[RIA]> When Moth decided to fight back, warning him for a rickroll, he warned him and put a Rickroll in the description
<MarthurLutherKingJr> I know kenny... I know how he thinks, how he breathes, how he wanks off in the shower with the curtains open
<Vintus[RIA]> he has the power
<MarthurLutherKingJr> and I know for a fact that he is religiously inspired
<Vintus[RIA]> genius!
<Vintus[RIA]> we're blowing this conspiracy right open

[Vintus]

<cctmsp13[RIA]> yes it goes deep
<cctmsp13[RIA]> not just the RIA
<cctmsp13[RIA]> I think it extends to all of GUARD
<MarthurLutherKingJr> do they form a triumvir of power or is there a chain of command? Like crazy under loren under kenny?
<MarthurLutherKingJr> I'm partial to the latter theory
<cctmsp13[RIA]> I think it's crazy and loren under Kenny
<cctmsp13[RIA]> and moth under loren
<Vintus[RIA]> yes!
<MarthurLutherKingJr> though that might have something to do with the wording because it makes me think of sex and I'm a beast
<Vintus[RIA]> Kenny has the power, and he makes Crazy and Loren do his work for him
<Vintus[RIA]> and GUARD knows of this, for they are already under Moth's spell1
<Vintus[RIA]> !
<Vintus[RIA]> they shall fuse into a super-alliance, Temple of Moth, with Moth at the head!
<cctmsp13[RIA]> who is actually under loren's spell
<Vintus[RIA]> We've been resisting this entire time! But who is helping us reseist this?
<cctmsp13[RIA]> as Loren hides in plain sight
<Vintus[RIA]> who knew of this plot all along?
<Vintus[RIA]> and GASP! again, for GUARD took 2 months to get us in..maybe it was because Moth was not only winning them over to get us into there, but also putting the spell on them!
<MarthurLutherKingJr> setting everything up
<MarthurLutherKingJr> for the temple of moth
<MarthurLutherKingJr> to be realized on september 1st
<MarthurLutherKingJr> when the stars align
<cctmsp13[RIA]> no, it's the horrible final piece
<Vintus[RIA]> gasp!
<MarthurLutherKingJr> and mars rise in the east
<cctmsp13[RIA]> GUARD is secretly comprised of ...
<cctmsp13[RIA]> Vampires
<MarthurLutherKingJr> in ancient times called LUCIFER
<Vintus[RIA]> OMG@
<Vintus[RIA]> :WJEf
<MarthurLutherKingJr> THE MORNING STAR
<Vintus[RIA]> OMG
<Vintus[RIA]> OMG
<Vintus[RIA]> VAMPIRES LUCIFER MORNING STAR
<MarthurLutherKingJr> ALSO SATAN
<Vintus[RIA]> ALSO SATAN
<cctmsp13[RIA]> Vampires can't come out in the day
<Vintus[RIA]> IT ALL MAKES SENSE
<cctmsp13[RIA]> so they have to limit their activity during summer
<cctmsp13[RIA]> but now, as the days shorten
<Vintus[RIA]> on the winter solstice, the entire Internet will bow down to Moth...oh my God
<Vintus[RIA]> Arthur! You must do something
<Vintus[RIA]> Kenny is here!
<Vintus[RIA]> he is watching us!
<Vintus[RIA]> you must not let him know of our plans!
<Vintus[RIA]> dispose of him!
<MarthurLutherKingJr> I'm afraid I can't do that
<MarthurLutherKingJr> see you forgot to consider one factor
<Vintus[RIA]> wut
<MarthurLutherKingJr> why do I get access powers in here?
<cctmsp13[RIA]> WUT?
<Vintus[RIA]> WUT! it all makes sense now
<MarthurLutherKingJr> like Loren...
<MarthurLutherKingJr> Like kenny...
<MarthurLutherKingJr> like moth...
<Vintus[RIA]> they already rule the world, and they are planning to take down GUARD
<cctmsp13[RIA]> Vintus you mean this all goes back to
<Vintus[RIA]> why?
<cctmsp13[RIA]> ... IVAN MOLDAVI
<Vintus[RIA]> Because GUARD is going to turn into the Temple of Moth and take the world from them
<Vintus[RIA]> and when WUT goes, Planet Bob becomes Planet Moth
<Vintus[RIA]> what about Ivan?
<cctmsp13[RIA]> The world can only exist in conflict
<cctmsp13[RIA]> WUT has grown too strong,
<Vintus[RIA]> oh dear lord
<Vintus[RIA]> you don't mean
<cctmsp13[RIA]> so Ivan is secretly raising up a new power, to challenge WUT, and bring a new era of strife and conflict
<cctmsp13[RIA]> It all makes sense
<cctmsp13[RIA]> Ivan leaving NPO,
<cctmsp13[RIA]> the ONOS incident
<Vintus[RIA]> What about NpO leaving WUT?
<cctmsp13[RIA]> there's just one piece left
<cctmsp13[RIA]> To have proper perpetual conflict, you need balance
<cctmsp13[RIA]> WUT is far too strong for GUARD, and GUARD wasn't growing quickly enough
<cctmsp13[RIA]> so desperate measures needed to be taken
* Vintus[RIA] stares blankly.
<Vintus[RIA]> wait
<cctmsp13[RIA]> to preserve the master plan
<Vintus[RIA]> what
<Vintus[RIA]> errrr
<Vintus[RIA]> what
<Vintus[RIA]> I don't even
<MarthurLutherKingJr> we're back at the temple of moth now
<MarthurLutherKingJr> vintus
<cctmsp13[RIA]> He is factionalizing the world
<MarthurLutherKingJr> also
<MarthurLutherKingJr> WUT is breaking up
* Vintus[RIA] turns to the side..revealing a HUGE SLUG-LIKE ALIEN ATTACHED TO THE SIDE OF HIS HEAD
<MarthurLutherKingJr> into different factions
<MarthurLutherKingJr> FACTIONS MADE FROM VARIOUS THINGS
<cctmsp13[RIA]> yes, no more nice clean two sided wars
<MarthurLutherKingJr> LIKE ONE FACTION OF VAMPIRES (UJP)
<MarthurLutherKingJr> ONE FACTION OF ZOMBIES (BLEU)
<MarthurLutherKingJr> etc.
<Vintus[RIA]> that's all I can log for now
<Vintus[RIA]> job well done team

[Ganon5]

Being a zombie, I find this topic highly offensive

[Shadow gamer]

It's all so clear now!

[bioakky]

<MarthurLutherKingJr> CRAZY (THE RABBI)

Ecks. Mother. Fucking. Dee.

[evil greg guy]

lulz


......




wait a minute....


you're Bioakky!

[—-]

O__O I see my name.



Wait.

I own Moth?



HELL YES!

[master31347]

i always knew it

[Great Lakes Union]

 

(((Must warn all the other members of the Zombie/Vampire/WUT/Barbra Streisand/Amway conspiracy that RIA knows to much...)))

[zombie2000]

MOTHERFUCKERS

I AM THE ZOMBIE GOD.

[—-]

MOTHERFUCKERS

I AM THE ZOMBIE GOD.

Well I own Moth