Shit that pisses me off

[Electric Mango]

WORK BATHROOM EDITION

1.  People that take shits and then don't wash their hands.  Hello, I was right here at the sink and heard you dropping bombs, only to watch you walk out a minute later and just straight up leave.  And hell no I don't to eat your damn potluck shit fingers.

2.  Don't come up to the urinal next to me and start grunting and moaning out loud, I mean what the fuck man!  Sounds like you're having sex or you're in pain, in either case, it's sick and fucking disgusting.  This goes the same for all of heavy breathers out there, you're pissing me straight off too. 

3.  I don't want to hear your life story in the fucking bathroom.  Don't hold me captive in the men's shitter so you can tell me all about your latest vacation.  I don't give a fuck first of all, and 2nd of all, we're in a fucking bathroom.

[Gangs]

Revenge: Next time you go to take a dump, carry a bar of dark chocolate with you, if/when an annoying asshole like the aforementioned examples happens to come by, mash the chocolate in your hand, stick it under the side into his cubicle and say something like, "hey man, im not feeling well, does this look ok?" or, "hey man, i just ran outta toilet paper here, you got some? Hand some over willya?"

[undiscoveredbum]

Every single day there's this guy who fills a water bottle up and goes into one of the stalls.

I can't even begin to guess what the fuck goes on in there.

[Electric Mango]

Maybe it's exhausting work and he needs to stay hydrated?

[Gangs]

Or maybe he just doesn't like toilet paper much...

[bioakky]

Does he do a handstand to pour the water on his asshole?

[TomAceEsq]

You know what really grinds my gears?<-----lol

Personally I don't give a fuck if someone at work doesn't wash their hands after using the bathroom. It's not like I'm gonna go lick his fucking desk or anything. Just me though.

[Gangs]

Does he do a handstand to pour the water on his asshole?

Is it wrong for me to get a boner after i imagine megan fox doing that?

[TomAceEsq]

Does he do a handstand to pour the water on his asshole?

Is it wrong for me to get a boner after i imagine megan fox doing that?

Uh...No. It would be wrong NOT getting a boner after thinking that.

Your junk works.

[Gangs]

But her poop's dripping...

[Electric Mango]

That's perfect if her poops dripping, extra lube for my boner. 

As far as not washing your hands goes, this is the same guy that brings in something for pot luck day and wants you to eat some of it.  Fuck that, if you don't wash your hands when your fellow co-worker sees you coming out of the shitter, than I surely am not eating anything that dude brings. 

The worst thing I ever saw was this dude come out of the stall, but instead of washing his hands, he just grabs some paper towels to dry his hands, and leaves.  WTF?!  Obviously something happened in there that got his hands wet, what a disgusting fucker. 

[C-zom]

I never got the whole uproar/irritation from public restroom usage. If the guy next stall over is ripping his gut out because of the half cooked taco he ate, who cares? There's only two things I care about for public restroom edict:

A: The urinal spacing rule

B: Some idiot knocking on the stall asking if someone is in there because he can't look under and notice the SHOES right there.

[Becks For Dinner]

I'm with you on the handwashing thing. There is this old dude where I work who sounds like he has no control of his cock when he pisses and proceeds to walk right the fuck out. I don't want his piss stained hands molesting the pot luck food before I get a crack. Wash your damn hands!

[Electric Mango]

Ue story, I seen a guy eating an omlette as he was taking a leak at work.

[tlamn]

In the old building I used to work in, there was a guy (we all called him Fat Bastard just like in the movie) who used to mumble as he (presumably) used to stuff his underwear with rolls and rolls of toilet paper. I'd be sitting there in the stall trying to take a dump while Mr Mumbletard mumbled and mumbled as he shoved industrial roll after roll into his pants (?)  and then walked out. He did this every time.

This is just the tip of the iceberg at work. Speaking of shit that pisses me off.

[Jenne]

Mango's sig reminds me, where the fuck is Big Z?  I miss her.


Hoo fucking rah on the urinal spacing.  Unfortunately I work with a ton of Indians (dot, not feather) who do not seem to get the concept.  Gangs, if you get bored, can you pass the word around to about a half a billion people?

[JackSkellington]

I'm in the habit of not shitting on my hands while taking a shit.

[Electric Mango]

Well me neither but would you let me make you a sandwich right after I get done taking taking a huge crap?