Damen: *walks on screen* Hi, my name is Damen, and I'm required by law to tell you that I have been convicted as a sexual predator. But, don't worry, she was dead at the time but thanks to the miracle of science, she is now only a half-traumitized teenager!
Flask: *walks beside him* Hi, my name is Flask, and I was forced to do this against my will.
Damen: This is the story of me and my best pal Flask-
Flask: *chuckle*
Damen: ...best pal Flask and our crazy shenanigans. This story is all about me and him, about nothing else. Nope. Nothing at all...
*camera pans to Azural, standing with goofy glasses and a tophat on*
Azural: Hi, my name is Azural, and my father never loved me.
*studio audience laugh*
Azural: Oh, I'm just joshing you, but my father doesn't matter until the sequel. For now, this is me:
*picture of a little kid hugging a pet walrus*
Azural: That's Wally the crazy Walrus. Now, about two months ago I asked my girlfriend to marry me. This, is Lanna:
*picture of Lanna getting dressed*
Azural: ...this was before we were dating, mind you. This is a picture of the guy I took this tophat from:
*Damen is seen running after Azural*
Azural: And this, my friends, is a picture of the goofy glasses emporium
*Crackhead is seen in an alley, holding a kidney in his left hand and using his right to give Azural the goofy glasses*
Azural: They smelled like waste for a few days, but they only cost me five dollars this way. And here is where I bought my nice T-shi-
*camera pans to Lanna, sitting in casual clothes and looking at Azural*
Lanna: That's my fiancee, whom I love despite his...shortcomings. Hi, my name is Lanna, and I'm an alcoholic.
*studio audience gasp*
Lanna: Oh, I'm just joshing you, that's just my mother...my brother...my other brother...my other brother...my sister...and occassionally fiancee.
*pained laugh*
Lanna: Anyway, these are my parents. First, my father:
*man is seen reading, ignoring the cries of a small baby*
Lanna: That baby was me, by the way. Here's my mother:
*woman is seen in front of a wine cellar, carrying a baby*
Lanna: ...me again. I...kinda had a troubled childhood.
*picture of a bear chasing after a half-clothed little girl is seen*
Lanna: I was swimming, and how the hell was I supposed to know that bears could swim? Anywa-
*Azural walks on screen*
Azural: This is the story about how I met my best gal's parents.
Lanna: And how they met him.
*camera pans to Damen yelling at director*'
Damen: What do you mean, not interesting?!
Director: The audience requested a romantic comedy...
Damen: There's plenty of romance!
Director: With all do respect, sir, the first five chapters are all about the girls you'd like to fuck...
Damen: Quality lust and love!
Director: ...the next 8 chapters just say "Nigger" over and over...
Damen: Repetition! It's an art!
Director: And the last 50 chapters talk about the colonization of early America...
Damen: A little history is good for the youngin's!
Director: And that's not even starting on the sequel, Goldifucks and the three Bubbas.
Damen: ...that sequel crossed the line, didn't it?
Director: To quote..."Goldifucks found that the first <censored> was too small, and the second <censored> was too big, but the third <censored> was just right."
Damen: ...Yeah...
Director: I'm sorry, but this story has been a long time coming.
Damen: You're fired.
Director: You work for me.
Damen: Fine then, I'm fired!
Director: ...Okay then...
Damen: No, I quit!
Director: ...Okay?
Damen: *walks out* I'll make my own skit...with blackjack, and hookers!
*giant banner lands on Damen*
*Azural and Lanna stand in front of banner, embracing each other*
Meet the Yangs
Topic: Meet the Yangs (Read 1209 times)
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