Funniest. Story. Ever.

[Shamedmonkey]

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3401052/1/A_Black_Comedy

Harry Potter story...It's hilarious...

[Kaiser]

It was ok. I only found the sandwich and the strippers funny.

[Shamedmonkey]

...There's more than one chapter...

For example, Kaiser, from another chapter:

“Dammit,” Harry swore loudly after the healer gave him the news.

“What?”

“My bloody wand hand has seven hairline fractures. Any one of them could snap and tonic right through the skin. He’s gotta vanish the bones and I’ve gotta regrow them.”

“Don’t trust him,” an old woman called out loudly. “He’s a dark wizard. This may all be a charade manufactured by the Dark Lord.”

“There’s the close-mindedness the Wizengamot is famous for,” Harry cheered. “Finally a voice for the voiceless incompetents.”

“I’m sorry,” Sirius asked with mock sincerity. “But who are you?”

“Hmph,” the woman huffed refusing to answer.

Albus interjected, “Madame Edgecombe’s family owns one of the buildings in Badgin Alley that sustained damages.”

“I make no secret of that,” Edgecombe snapped. “But it doesn’t change the fact that he’s a dark wizard.”

“Yeah well…” Sirius shrugged. “You’re a werewolf.”

Madame Edgecombe stiffened at the accusation. “I most certainly am not.”

“So? What does that matter?” Sirius asked in confusion. “I thought we were just making up random shit because we’re irritable from all the sores on our crusty old vaginas.” Sirius finished while quite obviously scratching himself.

“Lord Black, please,” Amelia tiredly answered. “A little decorum while you mock and insult us would be appreciated.”

“Well I never…” Madame Edgecombe’s complexion was beginning to cycle between shades of anger and embarrassment. “I am making nothing up. He’s a parseltongue.”

“No, I’m not,” Harry said while trying to gesture with his hand. The healer had just finished vanishing the bones so his arm appeared to be flapping like a flesh-filled glove. “Nice work,” Harry commented towards the healer while waggling his hand.

“You deny that you’re a parseltongue?” she asked with a conniving smile. “That you weren’t seen hissing at the Dark Mark before your staged little duel?”

“I’m not a parseltongue,” Harry tiredly explained. “I’m a parselmouth. The language I can speak and understand is parseltongue. And if you’ve ever seen an anaconda you can understand why I sometimes get called a parselcrotch.”

XFD Parselcrotch.

[—-]

I really tried to read all that.. But I gotta agree with Kaiser. (I sorta skimmed it)

[wethepeople]

Harry potter is really kinda boring to begin with, and I find all sarcastic fanfics stupid and annoying with the humor of the Scary movie series. Parselcrotch? Please, thats pathetic not funny.

[Shamedmonkey]

Your opinion.

[pielord47]

undefined
undefined
Now those are good stories
really good and i recomend them to you all one is a naruto fan fiction and the other yu-gi-oh!
probably no one wants to read those topics though

[Shamedmonkey]

I refuse to read Naruto.

Worst. Show. Ever.

[wethepeople]

I refuse to read Naruto.

Worst. Show. Ever.

This is truth.

[—-]

I refuse to read Naruto.

Worst. Show. Ever.

This is truth.

I agree.


And I'm sad. I just finished my book and I don't think they'll be a 4th ;__;

[pielord47]

your opinion
just cause you don't like the best action show on Cartoon network it does not mean anything

[wethepeople]

Uggh. Cartoons are really dumb, IMO. Anime is even worse. Things where mid-teen kids fly around and fight with magic powers and ninja abilities is an instant no-no. For goodness sakes DBZ was better cause it was muscle men with explosions, but that still /sucked/. I do not want to see little girls and boys hitting each other at mach speeds and using magic. >_>; Sorry.

[Mr_Cynic]

Uggh. Cartoons are really dumb, IMO.

Bugs Bunny, Tom and Jerry, and Invader Zim all beg to differ.  >_>

[pielord47]

Uggh. Cartoons are really dumb, IMO. Anime is even worse. Things where mid-teen kids fly around and fight with magic powers and ninja abilities is an instant no-no. For goodness sakes DBZ was better cause it was muscle men with explosions, but that still /sucked/. I do not want to see little girls and boys hitting each other at mach speeds and using magic. >_>; Sorry.

you just have no taste or don't like me
and you probably don't like me now because i am arguing with you so it's both!

[wethepeople]

I have no taste? Wrong, I have different tastes.

I never said I didn't like you. If I didn't like you for what you liked, I'd be an idiot. Or a Conservative/nutty Christian. And thats not me! =D

[pielord47]

fine
i will stick with chotonicte chip and you can have raisin

[wethepeople]

Blechk. Chotonicte chip cookies=own. Raisin ones (Save oatmeal cookies) are pretty nasty.

[pielord47]

sorry
*trades cookies with wethepeople*

[wethepeople]

=D Nice.

[pielord47]

your welcome but i get to keep all the brownies