Marathon of Madness

[Jenne]

hannibal rising

That was a good one.

[Viper6525D]

You guys picked almost every scary movie I can think of.

The only ones I can think of now is It and The Blaire Witch Project.

[Jenne]

Boo.

[Viper6525D]

Boo.

Idk about that.
It helped me one Halloween on my ex. XD
then again, she was already afraid of clowns. But it still was hilarious to hear her scream. XD Yayz for dark humor.

Besides, I already said you guys picked out everything thats good.

[C-zom]

The list is all done and I've watched three movies already but they're not worth noting or reviewing. Amityville Horror, The Shining, and Sleepy Hollow.

I use a random number generator to pick which movie I watch. One a day is the rate I'll be going.

[C-zom]

Amityville Horror


To my complete disbelief and pain the random number generator chose one of the worst movies on the list *first.* I obeyed the generator from hell and watched this movie. Its a little over two hours long and it feels like four hours. I don't know whats worse: The acting, the complete lack of any scares, or the crap editting. When I watch a haunted house movie I want to be scared and be drawn into the characters. Like the original house on haunted hill, for example. Price is the man.

To get back on subject there are no scares in this movie save one, the eyes in the window. There literally isn't another scare. No hints at monsters, no corner of the eye trick, no cat out of the bag. Its simply the details of a poorly acted family wandering around the house and the husband going insane and then breaks down into a 6 minute finale which feels like 30 seconds. Its such a rip off of The Shining that it even has a scene where the children are in the bathroom and the husband uses an axe to bust his way in, and a scene where the walls bleed.

My eyes bled too. Useless movie, and probably gonna be near the very bottom when I'm finished.

[C-zom]

The Shining

Kubrick can make a good atmosphere, he really can. He's got a really good use of the camera in long, drawn out scenes with no dialog or really even any noise at all besides a slow rise musical background. Best example is the kid barreling down the hallways on the tricycle. He created a fantastic atmosphere in the Overlook that shows he knows what he's doing.

Thats basically were the compliments end. Jack Nicholson as, well, Jack, is a complete miscast in my opinion. Every time tension builds up you see Jack staring at something or being an ass to his wife or kid. His slow decline into dementia isn't that: Its an odd and often annoying sarcastic escapade that has Jack not being crazy or frightening but making jokes, flipping his arms around, wildly flaring his eyebrows and grinning through his bottom lip. Its basically Jim Carrey body humor instead of frightening.

Thats my problem with the movie. Jack is a "bad" guy to begin with. An ass to his family, a bitch about his writing and he has no real decline cause he's insane to begin with.

There are some fantastic scenes without Jack in it like Halloran, the chef, talking to the kid. This is an excellent scene and set the mood for the whole movie--or so I thought. This mood is thrown out the window by the time Jack is talking to bar tenders and making bourbon jokes.

So in short I loved the atmosphere but only at times. Most of the time the movie drags on like crazy and isn't even a horror movie to begin with, more of a thriller if you ask me. But the build up and intensity surrounding the Overlook is top notch at times and some of Kubrick's best but whenever it descends into dialog or conventional job scares it loses its charm, and fast.

[C-zom]

Sleepy Hollow

Fun Fact: I added this movie to the list without actually looking it up beforehand. I remembered pumpkin head and the headless horsemen and I know for sure there's a real HORROR movie based on this, but uhhh I got the name wrong...

Johnny Depp (Some kind of dark ages/steampunk version of inspector gadget) gets sent to a village populated solely by weird ass looking blonde chicks and old guys and a bad case of fog. For the next 1.2 hours your head is filled with thousands of sir names, family names, maiden names and more revolving around a conspiracy designed to control the Hessian Horsemen (Christopher Walken...). The horsemen is dead but his head was stolen and this causes him to come back from the dead from someones orders. But who's? All evidence points to like eight different people who all conveniently die except one and by the time its that one guy revealed you've fallen asleep.

This isn't a horror movie: Its Tim Burton. There's lots of fog, lots of stop motion, lots of Nightmare Before Christmas ripoffage. Depp can't act and looks fucking stupid in those big goggles and using tools to determine that yes, indeed, someones head is missing.

I didn't intend to watch this movie. But I did. And hoo boy, did it suck.

[C-zom]

Poltergeist

What happens when a suburban family's every day life gets torn apart by squeeky midgets, a man eating tree, skeletons in a swimming pool and red jello from beyond the grave? You get one bad movie that isn't even horror and probably wasn't for the time.

That random number generator hates me so much. Its given be garbage and only one decent movie so far, but mostly garbage. Me and Nitemare watched this movie and I gotta be honest: It was painful, and I can stand really cheesy horror movies. I've seen this a hundred times but this was the first time in a few years or more.

The family is completely illogical and doesn't respond to the horrors correctly at all. Their kid is eaten by a fucking oak tree and they somehow get him out then don't even bother to clean the digestive fluid off him. Their daughter gets stuck in the television and they couldn't be arsed about either and wind up taking a nap. No one addresses the fact the kid was eaten. Nobody. And that basically sums up the movie. It seemed like a bunch of skits rather than a movie, based around thinking up the most ridiculous scare scenes possible without makin them connect. At one second you see a steak crawling across the counter and it explodes into more steak. Then a guy is peeling his face off. Then ghosts are walking down stairs. Then it ends.

EATEN BY A TREE.

Maybe for its time it was revolutionary in the scare department. The special effects look ridiculous now but in the 70's they were probably pretty respectable. But its really not scary now and the bad editting/chop up job is all too noticeable.

[Gangs]

28 days later..... O_O

[C-zom]

The Vanishing

To begin this random number generator is satan.

I'm usually professional or mature about my movie reviews. I give the high points, the low points, and describe it as is. But I need to lose the professional attitude for a second: This movie absolutely sucked.

To begin the editting was completely bad and often to the point of unwatchable. At one scene the two main characters will be laying down in the grass. After a quick exchange of dialog the next scene is this guy we don't know with a broken arm smoking in a hotel room. After his introduction the next scene is the couple we saw before... three years earlier. The next scene is the boyfriend in a panic looking for his lost girlfriend. It goes on, and on, like that to the point where you don't know what the fuck is going on.

The entire story is left up to assumptions too. There is very little dialog in total, maybe even two or three pages MAX in a 1:46 movie. At random times the villain or hero will be shown somewhere doing something that has nothing to do with the main story, or they'll wind up running somewhere to find the other guy without any build up to it. Its just random as hell.

The main villain is more of a putz experimenting with morals and religious overtones, trying to "kill" someone because he feels he's already done the most good by "saving" someone. He wants to be three dimensional. He has a fucking neckbeard, horn rimmed glasses, and doesn't say more than fifteen words.

As for the hero he's looking for his kidnapped girlfriend who's been gone for... three years. He didn't give up hope or motivaiton to find her and still puts up plea signs for her after THREE years of being gone. This makes the villain feel sad so out of no where, for no reason, the villain somehow finds this guy in another country and tricks the hero. That description there makes it feel like it has direction or good editting for an ending, but it doesn't. Cut inbetween the final car ride or conversations are clips of birthday parties, flashbacks to his childhood, someone swimming in a lake, the hero ordering coffee--All 20 second random clips through in with NO lead in or purpose.

Fucking bad movie.

[JackSkellington]

I'm joining this if it isn't already apparent. We're watching the movies together and both doing a review. As for the movies C-zom previously reviewed, I'll leave those there. I've seen them all and watched Poltergeist with C-zom so his reviews basically reflect my opinion. Anyways, to move onto The Vanishing.

Review:

Acting: It's not revoltingly bad, but it's bad enough to make a point about it. The acting is generally just mindless banter between two people or just one of the actors/actresses staring off into space with a blank face. The King has more facial expression then these people.

Editing: I can usually let a movie off for editing. With most movies, it's a difficult thing. But when it's a movie like this, where it's simply a plot that just DRAGS on, the editing should be top notch. That's far from the case for The Vanishing. You're constantly jumping from one scene to the next to the point where you have no sense of direction for the movie. You have no idea what the point of all of it is. You spend half of the scenes trying to figure out what the previous scene had to do with the movie. And more times then not, it had nothing to do with the movie.

Writing: Just simply one of the worst scripts I've ever had the displeasure of experiencing. As I mentioned with the Editing, most scenes really have no reason to be in the movie. They are simply there to make the movie longer. They don't add to the plot in any way nor even add to character development. The movie leaves you assuming what is what and who is who and where is where. And it's not a movie where they try to keep you guessing at who the killer is. They just show a guy faking a broken arm and then you see him at his home life. The entire first hour of the movie is a waste of time. Problem is, the entire second half of the movie is too. You end up with illogical moves by the guy we assume is the main character. And then end up with a basic fade to black screen that's just ridiculous.

Directing: I'm not sure I can say the directing was all that bad due to what it had to work with. The greatest directors couldn't have saved this movie. So I'm basically going to leave this blank.

Final Result: This movie is without a doubt the worst horror/thriller I have seen. I can't put it more clearly then that. It was a borefest that just dragged on with terrible acting, jumping between scenes(And at times different years without you knowing whatsoever), and writing that makes Lady In The Water look brilliant. Watching this movie was simply a waste of time, just like every scene in the fucking movie. No point whatsoever for almost every scene.

0/10

[Fake from State Jarm]

would ghosts in the darkness be considered a horror?

also, I hate any movie or anything that has a title that tries to spell itself with numbers. (like se7en. wtf retarded. that's not, nor was it ever, cool. I swear the people who finance the movies sit around tables in meeting rooms thinking of ways they can mangle the name and dumb it down)

[JackSkellington]

1408

I'll say I came into this movie not really expecting much. I had heard good things but just don't generally trust the opinions of others.

Review:

Acting: It's a solid acting job. It's not as if you'll get any academy awards for these performances but they were far from bad. Cusack did a convincing job in the scenes with his daughter. And everyone else had rather minor parts that you can't really notice whether they were good or not. All in all, I'd say it's above average acting. 7/10

Editing: It's a bit choppy at the beginning but it gets better. It settles everything in nicely and the changes in camera angles end up combining rather well. 6/10

Writing: I think it's one of King's better stories and I think they did a good job of bringing it to the screen. I've seen many books turned movies that are absolute trainwrecks and this isn't the case. 8.5/10

Directing: Hafstrom does a good job of getting multiple directions without any clutter or mistakes. Obviously not amazing directing or I would've mentioned that, but solid on all aspects of directing. 8/10

Final Result: This movie is just a well made movie. By no stretch amazing but far from bad. Overall, they do a fine job of...well...generally everything. It's either average or above average on all accounts and the final product shows that. I enjoyed this far more then I expected that I would. The random number generated had given C-zom and I a streak of awful movies that left a bad taste in my mouth. This was, quite simply, a breathe of fresh air. I will say I wish we would've gotten the ending shown in theaters rather then the original ending that they ended up pulling. Other then that and the slightly drawn out beginning, I had no serious problems with this movie.

7.5/10

[Jenne]

Be nice if you gave the title in the review.  Don't make me work for it.

[Viper6525D]

Be nice if you gave the title in the review.  Don't make me work for it.

Indeed. >_>

[Fake from State Jarm]

hannibal rising

That was a good one.

but not scary.

[JackSkellington]

Silent Hill

This movie is bad enough I'm not even going to take this review seriously. It was a terrible movie overall that made no sense story wise. Terrible camera angles, oxshit plot that didn't have much to do with the games...Overall just a fuck awful movie.

0/10

[C-zom]

I can't be arsed to review silent hill, it was that bad. I'll have one up for 1408 in a bit.

[Viper6525D]

Games made to be scary and good, like Silent Hill and Resident Evil = Awesome-Sauce.

Movies that are riped off from these awesome games = COMPLETE FAILURE EVERY TIME!

Im sorry I even offered the movie in the first place.  -_-